Archive for July, 2007

Week 17 Report: Dawgs Kick It Up To 80

July 30, 2007

The standings:

Last Week

Rank

Points

TEAM

Hitting Pitching

Rank Points Change

1

80.0

Craydawgs

41.0

39.0

1

76.0

+ 4.0

2

74.0

Ballbags

39.0

35.0

2

74.5

-0.5

3

73.5

Team Phil Chu

34.5

39.0

3

73.5

4

54.0

Snowmen

26.0

28.0

4

52.5

+ 1.5

5

39.0

SeaWolves

21.0

18.0

5

40.0

-1.0

6

37.0

Barracudas

8.0

29.0

6

37.5

-0.5

7

32.5

Dirty Dogs

23.5

9.0

7

33.5

-1.0

8

30.0

Bears

18.0

12.0

8

32.5

-2.5

8

30.0

Brawlers

14.0

16.0

9

30.0

Your beloved Craydawgs picked up 4 points in the standings in Week 17 in the wake of a formidable offensive onslaught: 18 HRs, 66 runs, 75 RBI (a 2007 BEML high), and a league-leading .315 average. In the process, the boyz from Jersey reached the 80-point plateau, no joke. The Dawgs had 8 players hit .300 or better. Matt Holliday led the way with 4 dingers and 10 BI, Manny added 10 BI with 3 dongs, and Albert knocked in 11. However, while they have a 6-point lead heading into Week 18, they were tied with The Chu just yesterday morning. Feeling the pressure, the Dawgs jettisoned closer Kevin Gregg and phenom Matt Garza (both at minimum salary) to the Bears for Billy Wagner and Jeremy Bonderman. The Dawgs also shored up their pitching staff by acquiring free agent Jeremy Guthrie, and will send AJ Burnett on a couple of rehab starts this week.

The Craydawg-mobile goes at least 80.

Ballbags held steady in 2nd place by leading the league in steals (10) for the second week in a row and posting a miniscule, league-best WHIP (1.06). Jason Bay finally contributed by hitting .364 with 3 HRs and 6 BI, raising his Ballbags average to .205 in 78 at-bats. The Bags loaded up for the stretch run by acquiring the coveted A-Rod from the Dirty Dogs together with Ichiro, Roy Halladay and Johnny Estrada in return for Prince Fielder, Curtis Granderson, Josh Bard, Jeff Francis and a 2008 franchise slot.

6a00d8341c730253ef0105371bb1fb970b-640wiA-Rod gets a rubdown from the Ballbags’ trainer

Team Phil Chu also held fast in 3rd place while leading the league in Wins (8) and Saves (6). Roy Oswalt brought it this week by posting 10 Ks in 7 scoreless innings. The Chu bolstered their lineup by picking up free agent Ryan Braun, and welcomed back Miguel Tejada from his injury. The brittle Carlos Beltran is ailing and was benched to make room for Braun.

The Chu acquired Ryan Braun . . .

Not former Craydawg Dickie Thon

The 4th place Snowmen are in no-man’s land, 19.5 points out of 3rd and 15 points ahead of 5th place. The Frost got a nice week from Derrek Lee, whose power took until Week 17 to show itself (3 HRs, 7 BI). Hanley Ramirez missed some time with a shoulder injjury but came back to hit 7-for-14 with a homer, 4 BI, and a steal. Hanley is at .342/17/50/28 on the season. Carlos Zambrano picked up two more wins and leads the BEML with 14. Unfortunately, Scott Olsen (6.98 ERA) and Kenny Rogers (7.84 ERA) have been disasters since they joined the Freeze.

The SeaWolves trailed the BEML in both RBI (40) and Steals (3) this week. They’ve received really disappointing seasons from Big Papi (16 HRs, 61 RBI), Julio Lugo (.219 average), Bill Hall (9 HRs, 41 RBI) and Bobby Abreu (8 HRs, .270).

The 6th place Barracudas find themselves just two points out of 5th. They led the league in Strikeouts (67) and ERA (2.04). John Maine continues to excel, picking up two wins (12) this week and lowering his ERA to 2.92 on the year.

Who has the heart to tell Markoski his new tattoo is a “crazy bass,” not a barracuda?

The Dirty Dogs are obviously playing for next year at this point and will head into 2008 with cheap talent including Prince Fielder, Brad Penny, Eric Gagne. Corey Patterson, Mark Teahen, Curtis Granderson and Jeff Francis will attempt to convince owner Shaun Manusama that they deserve to stay. The Dogs turned down Eric Bedard (.25), a franchise slot and Jamie Shields (.25) from the Craydawgs for A-Rod in favor of a deal with the Ballbags that brought Prince Fielder, Granderson and Francis for A-Rod, Ichiro, and Roy Halladay. Time will tell whether the Dogs made the right move.

The Dirty Dogs acquired Jeff Francis . . .

Not Girls Gone Wild(R) mogul Joe Francis

In an intriguing battle for the basement, the Bears and Brawlers are tied for last and playing for next year. The Bears might catch lightning in a bottle with Matt Garza next year, and acquired some cheap saves in Kevin Gregg from the Craydawgs. The Brawlers acquired a coveted franchise slot this week from the Dawgs and will head into ’08 with Ryan Howard and Justin Verlander protected as franchise players.

The Brawlers head into ’08 with Ryan Howard . . .

Not British actor/playwright Noel Coward

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Chu Loses Utley; Dawgs Nab Sheffield

July 27, 2007

Rank

Points

TEAM

1

77.0

Craydawgs

2

74.5

Ballbags

3

73.5

Team Phil Chu

In a Chu-ragic development, Team Phil Chu lost their best player yesterday for 4-6 weeks. BEML All-Star Chase Utley was hitting .336/17/82/7 before breaking his hand last night. Chu says not to worry and claims to have some stuff cookin’. It will be tough to replace Utley, though.

Did anyone see the Dawgs go off yesterday? Six dawgbones and 19 RBI, yo. Dang, that’s good. Pujols hit his 23rd HR and drove in five runs (65), and Manny cranked out two (16). Matt Holliday went 4-for-4 and hit his 18th dong. Carlos Lee? His 21st. Rafael Furcal even threw one in (4) for good measure.

chris-as-prince_edited-1.jpg The Attorney Formerly Known As Craydawg

In other Craydawgs news, the Dawgs acquired Gary Sheffield, Kevin Millwood and a 2008 protected slot from the Brawlers in return for Andruw Jones, Rich Hill and the Dawgs’ 2008 franchise slot. The Dawgs seek to upgrade their outfield with the addition of Sheffield, and the Brawlers acquire the coveted franchise slot that will enable them to protect both Verlander and Ryan Howard in 2008. The Sheff is an original ’93 Craydawg and has won two rings with the Dawgs. His stats for the Craydawgs:

Year

AB H HR RBI SB AVG.
1993 323 94 13 43 10 .291
2001 263 74 18 44 4 .281
2002 492 151 25 84 12 .307
2006 123 38 4 19 5 .309
Total 1,201 357 60 190 31 .297

The Ballbags had a rough night of it, batting just .175 (7-for-40). However, Carlos Pena hit his 9th Pena in just 120 at-bats for the Bags. Not bad for a free agent pickup.

carlos-pena-as-ballbag.jpg Pena the Ballbag

Speaking of sweet pickups, Snowmen‘s Chris Duncan hit his 11th homer in just 109 at-bats for The Frost. He’s hitting .330 for them.

All-Time Craydawgs Team, Part II–Outfield

July 25, 2007

Earlier this season the BEMLBlog introduced the All-Time Craydawgs Team and tackled the infield. Today, BEMLBlog brings you the All-Time Craydawgs Outfield:

Carlos Beltran (2003-06)

AB

H

AVG.

HR

RBI

SB

1,927

543

.282

103

355

91

Beltran is playing for the rival Team Phil Chu this year, but he made his mark with two championship Craydawgs squads (2003, 2006), including his extraordinary 2003 season in which he hit .307 with 26 HRs, 100 RBI and 41 steals. Through the 2006 season, Beltran ranks 2nd in HRs, 3rd in hits, 2nd in RBI, and 5th in steals in Craydawgs franchise history.

beltran-and-chris.jpg Beltran and the Craydawgs’ owner during the 2006 championship season

Magglio Ordonez (2000-01, 2003)

AB

H

AVG.

HR

RBI

SB

1,289

399

.310

62

247

39

Mags won two rings with the Dawgs, in 2000 and ’03. During the 2000 championship season, Ordonez blasted 32 HRs, knocked in 126 runs, stole 18 bases, and finished with a .315 average. Through the 2006 season, he ranks 16th in all-time hits, 15th in HRs, 12th in RBI, and 19th in steals for the Craydawgs. 

magglio-copy.jpg Magglio celebrates a round-tripper during the 2000 Craydawgs championship season

Ryan Klesko (2000-02)

AB

H

AVG.

HR

RBI

SB

1,466

425

.290

77

274

45

The Ryno won rings for the Dawgs in 2000 and 2002, but his best season came in 2001, when he cranked 30 HRs with 113 RBI, 23 steals, and a .290 average. Through 2006, Klesko ranks 8th in all-time home runs for the Craydawgs, 9th in RBI, and 17th in steals.

kleskochris.jpg The Craydawgs owner has also been manager, trainer, and confidant to Klesko and his other players. In a heterosexual kind of way.

Tony Womack (1999-2000, 2002)

AB

H

AVG.

HR

RBI

SB

1,810

494

.273

16

154

144

Look at Tony Wo’s gaudy stats up there. My man is the all-time Craydawgs stolen base king. Further, dude ignited three Craydawgs championship teams. ‘Nuff said.

womack-sliding-2-copy.jpg Womack racks up another steal for the Dawgees

Greg Vaughn (1998-99)

AB

H

AVG.

HR

RBI

SB

1,071

277

.259

90

227

25

Vaughny made the most of his 277 hits for the Craydawgs, cranking out 90 HRs and 227 RBI, and picking up a 1999 championship ring in the process. Heading into this season, Vaughn ranked 4th all-time for the Dawgs in HRs, and 16th in RBI.

vaughn-copy.jpg Vaughn’s 1999 Craydawgs card

DH: Barry Larkin (1994-96)

AB

H

AVG.

HR

RBI

SB

1,440

431

.299

57

207

113

Barry Larkin is the best offensive player for the Dawgs not previously mentioned. Barry straight changed the game in the BEML when he helped lead the ’95 Dawgs to their first championship. He outdid himself the following year in posting a .298/33/89/36 season. He ranks 3rd all-time for the Dawgs in steals, and 20th in HR and RBI. You go, Barry.

larkin-chris-copy.jpg The Craydawgs owner and Barry share a hug after Larkin was named to the All-Craydawgs team

Coming soon on the BEMLBlog: All-Time Craydawgs, Part III–Pitchers.

Week 16 Report: Cuda Back In Business, 6th Place

July 23, 2007

The standings:

Last Week

Rank

Points

TEAM

Hitting Pitching

Rank Points Change

1

76.0

Craydawgs

38.0

38.0

1

75.0

+ 1.0

2

74.5

Ballbags

39.0

35.5

2

73.5

+ 1.0

3

73.5

Team Phil Chu

35.0

38.5

3

69.5

+ 4.0

4

52.5

Snowmen

25.0

27.5

4

48.0

+ 4.5

5

40.0

SeaWolves

22.0

18.0

5

47.5

-7.5

6

37.5

Barracudas

8.0

29.5

6

37.5

7

33.5

Dirty Dogs

25.0

8.5

7

36.5

-3.0

8

32.5

Bears

19.0

13.5

8

32.0

+ 0.5

9

30.0

Brawlers

14.0

16.0

9

30.5

-0.5

Chu is back, gunnin’ for the title. Pravato led his squad to a 4-point jump this week after a nice bit of offensive work: .337, 15 HRs, 59 Runs, 68 RBI, 8 Steals. Leading the Chu-wagon was Robinson Cano, who hit .500 (17-for-34) with 2 Robinson Crusoes and 9 RBI. It has been a disappointing season for Cano thus far, but he seems to be heating up in the 2nd half and is up to .291 this year with 8 HRs and 50 BI now. New Chu BJ Upton pitched in with a .414 week and 3 HRs and 8 BI. The “Poor Man’s David Wright,” Carlos Beltran blasted 3 more HRs and is now at .263/19/62/14 on the season. Unfortunately for The Chu, though, new pitching acquisition Roy Oswalt has struggled for his new team and has a 6.94 ERA/1.63 WHIP after two starts. Now it appears he may miss some time with a chest injury.

 Talkin’ ’bout Robinson Cano . . .

Robinson Crusoe and Man Friday Offterdinger.jpgNot Robinson Crusoe

The Chu still have to overcome the mighty mighty Craydawgs and the Ballbags, though. The Craydawgs led the league in HRs (17) and Wins (6) this week, and were angling for the ERA title until James Shields got strafed for 10 runs in 3 innings yesterday. David Wright did it all this week, racking up 2 HRs, 9 RBI, 2 steals, and a .333 average. He is at .298/18/60/22 on the season. Manny was Manny in Week 16, hitting 3 HRs to go with 6 BI and a .391 average. He has hit .341 with 8 HRs and 30 BI for the Dawgs in 170 at-bats. On the pitching side, Erik Bedard was heroic, striking out 11 in 7 innings for his 9th win. Jose Valverde picked up 3 saves (30) and 7 Ks.

bedard_as_craydawg.jpg Erik Bedard shows his Craydawgs pride. He leads the BEML in strikeouts (167) and overall bad-assness.

chris-on-retro-phone.jpg The Craydawgs will be working the phones until the August 15 trade deadline

Ballbags hung on to the two-spot this week. They led the league in steals (12) and ERA (2.03). Chris Young just keeps doing it: 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 Ks, W. He has a 1.85 ERA and 1.00 WHIP and is competing for the Maddux Award (named for the BEML’s best pitcher in the inaugural 1993 season). Carl Crawford swiped 5 bags this week, but Jason Bay has been a disaster thus far for the Bags; he is hitting .143 with 1 HR in 56 at-bats since a trade with the Snowmen.

Speaking of the Snowmen, those dudes saw 4th place in their sight and just went and took it. They picked up 4.5 points this week and are playing their best ball of the year. They knocked in 66 runs and hit .327 in Week 16, and led the BEML in Saves (8) and WHIP (1.01). Aaron Rowand is hitting .379 (25-for-66) for the Frosty Ones after a .355 week with a HR (10) and 8 BI. Hanley Ramirez hit .407 this week with 2 Han-Rams and 10 BI. Dude might compete for MVP if he was on a contender this year. In some bad news for the Freeze, new acquisition Scott Olsen was Tasered(R) and arrested by Farmingdale police over the weekend during a series with the Barracudas. Snowmen owner John Sucharski said that given Olsen’s 5.84 ERA for the Snowmen, he wished he had thought of Tasering Olsen.

scott-olsen-tasered.jpg Snowman Scott Olsen was Tasered(R)

The SeaWolves continued their plummet, dropping 7.5 points this week and trailing the league in HRs (6), strikeouts (31) and WHIP (1.77). BEML All-Star Russ Martin struggled this week, batting only .120 (3-for-25), BEML whipping boy Ervin Santana gave up 7 runs and 18 baserunners in 6 innings.

seawolves-bag-on-head.jpg SeaWolves fans are hiding their faces lately

Who’s that in 6th place? It’s the Barracudas, making some noise. The Vicious Fish held steady this week and are just 2.5 points out of 5th now. Eric Byrnes just tore things up in stealing 7 bases this week, and Chone Figgins hit .478 and is at .327 on the season. Cole Hamels pitched well this week, going 7 innings with just one run and 3 Ks for the win. He has a 2.70 ERA/1.05 WHIP for the Cudas in 20 innings.

 Look out! Those fish are vicious.

In an update on an earlier report that head Cuda Mike Markoski was missing, he has been found. He was scouting out new Cuda girls in Memphis:

markoski-with-memphis-cardinal-girls.jpg

The Dirty Dogs fell 3 points in Week 16. They had a league low 31 RBIS and .254 average. The Dogs are dangling A-Rod out there in hopes of a trade, and his value could not be higher right now; he cranked 3 HRs (34) with 12 BI (99) this week to carry the Dogs. Roy Halladay is back in the mix, going 16 innings with just one run, but any gains were wiped out by Jose Contreras, who pitched 7 disastrous innings, giving up 10 runs.  He has a 5.76 ERA/1.54 WHIP for the Dirty Dogs and I’d be surprised if he pitched again in the BEML next year after the way he has dragged down the Dogs in ’07.

How are the Bears this week, you ask? Eh. They overtook the Ballbags in the HR race by knocking 16, but otherwise put up a lackluster performance, trailing the league with 0 wins, a 6.25 ERA, and 1.77 WHIP. No team has had it worse in picking up free agents. The Bears’ April acquisition, Mark Hendrickson, put up a 6.55 ERA/1.82 WHIP over 22 innings; May pickup Chad Gaudin has a 4.73 ERA/1.78 WHIP in 53 innings; and June pickup Reggie Willits went 3-for-18 this week (.167) and is hitting just .157 over 51 at-bats, with 0 HR and 3 BI for the Bears.

   The Bears have not been helped by free-agent acquisitions Hendrickson, Gaudin and Willits

Ryan Howard and Miguel Cabrera are carrying the load for the Brawlers. Howard hit .500 for the week with 5 homers and 13–count ’em–13 RBI. Miggy hit .423 this week with 2 HR (23) and 6 RBI (71). He’s hitting .333 on the season. Unfortunately, new acquisitions Joe Blanton (7.94 ERA) and Justin Verlander (5.68) have not held up their end thus far.

Barracuda Incommunicado

July 19, 2007

Rank

Points

TEAM

1

74.5

Ballbags

2

74.0

Craydawgs

3

71.0

Team Phil Chu

I think the big news today is that no one knows where Barracudas owner Mike Markoski is. He has been generally unresponsive the last couple days. My man’s computer is shot and he has not been answering his phone. BEMLBlog received only this cryptic message via Blackberry(R) transmission:

BEMLBlog: “Mike, are you alive?”

Cuda: “I’m okay. Been away for a couple of days.”

If anyone knows the whereabouts of Mr. Markoski, let BEMLBlog know. It sounds like he’s been kidnapped or something.

markoski.jpg MISSING! Responds to “Barracuda.”

In other Cuda news, they finally surpassed the Dirty Dogs and are in 6th place. Scott Kazmir is producing for the Cudas (7 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks, W).

Also missing: the SeaWolves. They may have checked out for the ’07 season as it appears they have three inactive players on their roster (Fuentes, Bill Hall, Kendrick).

 SeaWolves are on autopilot

The Ballbags got a spark from Johnny Smoltz, who racked up 11 Ks yesterday on his return from an injury (7 IP, 0 ER). Magglio helped the cause of the Cojones, cranking a 3-run job (15). The Bags leapt past the Craydawgs into 1st.

David Wright blasted his 17th HR for the Dawgs, a 3-run jobber. He’s now at .297/17/54/20. Dawgee likes those numbers. Jose Valverde closed it out by striking out the side for his 28th save. Valverde (great closer’s name) has a 2.68 ERA/1.11 WHIP on the year.

 Jose Valverde = Down and Dirty

Phil Chu continues to lurk just a couple points back. Johan pitched a nice game for The Chu (8 IP, 3 ER, 7 Ks) but took the loss. Santana has a 2.05 ERA/0.77 WHIP with 20 Ks in 22 innings for The Chu.

Snowmen have opened up a 10-point lead on the 5th place SeaWolves. Carlos Zambrano picked up his 12th win for the Frost by going 5 innings with 0 runs.

snowmenprotest.jpg Snowmen fans rally in support of their 4th place team

The BEMLBlog dissed Todd Jones when the Dirty Dogs picked him up late last month from the Brawlers. Last night he recorded his 7th save for the Dogs and has put up 9 scoreless innings since he was acquired.

The Bears got nice work out of Greg Maddux yesterday: 5 IP, 0 ER, 6 Ks.

Ryan Howard cranked his 4th bad boy for the Brawl last night. He has 4 HRs in just 21 at-bats since the trade from Team Phil Chu.

Teixiera Sent To Snowmen

July 17, 2007

The Brawlers sent Mark “Big Tex” Teixiera to the Snowmen last night in return for Joe Blanton and a 2008 protected slot. Not quite sure what the Snowmen get out of an expensive Teixeira this year given that they are out of contention–unless they plan to turn around and trade him to a contender–but the Brawl pick up a solid pitcher in Blanton for the minimum salary in 2008. Blanton has 8 wins, 87 strikeouts, and a 3.36 ERA/1.11 WHIP in ’07.

 It’s a brawl, y’all

In other news, the Craydawgs ripped the cover off the ball last night in extending their lead to 4 points:

Rank

Points

TEAM

1

77.0

Craydawgs

2

73.0

Ballbags

3

70.0

Team Phil Chu

The Dawgs hit .378 with 3 jacks and 14 RBI. Carlos Lee led the way by going 2-for-3 with his 17th homer and 2 BI. El Caballo is at .295/17/75/6 on the year now.

The Ballbags kept pace with 2 homers (12) and 3 BI from Troy Glaus.

Juan Pierre stole his 37th and 38th bases for Team Phil Chu. The Craydawgs lead the steals category, but Pierre is helping The Chu close the gap.

cwolf-mugshot_edited-1.jpg C. Wolf has been arrested and charged again. BEMLBlog is seeking details and will let its readers know what’s going on between C. Wolf and the Long Arm Of The Law soon!

The Snowmen got a homer and 3 BI from Chris Duncan. Duncan has been a great pickup; he’s hit .341 with 9 HR and 31 BI in just 85 at-bats for his new team.

Brad Penny pitched a monster game for the Dirtyfellas last night: 7 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks for his 11th win.

Paul Konerko continues to light it up for the Bears. He hit his 9th homer for Los Osos and his hitting .352 in 91 at-bats for them. Ken Griffey Jr. has also contributed great value at a discount price ($0.50 salary) for the Bears. He drove in four runs last night and cranked his 16th HR in just 217 at bats.

Did you know? The top two teams are also #1 and #2 in total at-bats this year (Craydawgs: 4,633; Ballbags: 4,625).

Week 15 Report: Can’t Put A Leash On The Dawgs

July 16, 2007

Here’s the deal:

Last Week

Rank

Points

TEAM

Hitting Pitching

Rank Points Change

1

76.0

Craydawgs

38.0

38.0

1

72.5

+ 3.5

2

73.5

Ballbags

39.5

34.0

3

72.0

+ 1.5

3

70.0

Team Phil Chu

31.0

39.0

1

72.5

-2.5

4

49.0

Snowmen

22.0

27.0

5

46.5

+ 2.5

5

48.0

SeaWolves

27.0

21.0

4

50.0

-2.0

6

37.5

Dirty Dogs

27.5

10.0

6

39.0

-1.5

7

37.0

Barracudas

8.0

29.0

7

36.0

+ 1.0

8

34.0

Bears

19.0

15.0

8

34.0

9

25.0

Brawlers

13.0

12.0

9

27.5

-2.5

By picking up 3.5 points in a shortened Week 15, America’s Team(R) the Craydawgs grabbed sole possession of first for the first week since Week 9. They also batted over .300 (.313) for the first time since Week 9. Albert Pujols hit 4 Rikki-Tikki-Tavis (20) in the past three days and could be heating up at the right time for the Dawgs.

The Ballbags picked up 1.5 points by leading the BEML in Week 15 in HRs (14), Runs (38), RBI (39) and Steals (7). The Ballbags are potent up the middle with Jimmy Rollins at short (.429/2/4/0 this week) and Brandon Phillips lighting things up at second base (.438/2/8/1 this week). Unfortunately, CC Sabathia is faltering at the wrong time for the Bags; he pitched 7 innings and gave up 6 runs this week. His ERA is up to 3.78. The Bags appear concerned enough about the strength of their bench to allow injured pitchers Smoltz and Wolf to languish in the lineup.

As the BEMLBlog went to press, it was reported that Team Phil Chu have swung a deal with the Brawlers that sent Justin Verlander, Ryan Howard, Khalil Greene, and Dan Wheeler and a 2008 protected slot to the Brawl in return for closer Bobby Jenks, Roy Oswalt, Lance Berkman and BJ Upton. BEMLBlog considers the Howard/Berkman and Verlander/Oswalt swaps about even, with perhaps the loss of a few homers for Chu, maybe a little bit of ERA help. The great advantage to the deal is TPC’s acquisition of Jenks, who gives them 15-20 saves going forward and could help pick up a couple points or more in that category. What do the Brawlers get? Verlander could be a nice keeper for 2008 at the minimum salary, but the Brawlers will need to expend their franchise slot to keep him. Unless the Brawlers acquire another franchise slot through trade, they will lose rights to Ryan Howard after this year. In any event, it is nice to see that the Brawlers and Dirty Dogs are thinking toward next year and evidently planning to stay in the BEML. They have been great, active additons to the League.

 Team Phil Chu Minister of Festivities Cao Gangchuan toasts the addition of the Brawlers and Dirty Dogs to the BEML

Speaking of the Dirty Ones, they fell 1.5 points this week and are neck-and-neck with the Barracudas. The Dirty Birdies drove in the fewest runs this week (14) and posted the league-worst ERA (5.00) for the second straight week, and the league-worst WHIP (1.67) for the third straight week. On the plus side, Corey Patterson is really heating up, as he went 8-for-16 this week with 2 HR (4), 3 BI, and 2 steals (19).

 BEMLBlog readers report they can’t get enough pictures of dogs humping to illustrate the team name “Dirty Dogs”

The Snowmen jumped into 4th place this week, dumping the SeaWolves out of the coveted “Best of the Rest” slot by picking up 2.5 points. The Snow-show posted a league-best .342 average and 4 wins in Week 15. Aaron Roward smacked his first homer for his new squad and is hitting .400 (14-for-35) since coming over from the Bags. Jose Reyes pitched in 2 dongs (6) this week. Unfortunately, Kenny Rogers took a beating in giving up 5 runs in 5 innings this week with no strikeouts, running his ERA up to 5.23 for the Snowmen.

 The Snowmen appreciate the way Rowand crashes into walls at The Igloo

Amazingly, the Barracudas posted a zero in the homerun column this week and put up a league-worst 18 Runs. On the positive tip, the Fishy Ones slapped the ball around at a .316 clip, and Josh Beckett picked up his first victory this week by going 8 strong innings with just 2 runs and 8 strikeouts.

markoski-unabomber_edited-2.jpg Farmingdale police are looking for this man, who allegedly raided the buffet at the Farmingdale Fish Tank over the weekend while mumbling “chicken parm.” No one was injured.

Over to North Woodmere, where we’ll check in on the Bears. How are they doing? Not so well, but holding steady. They hit a league-low .250 this week and were surpassed by the slap-hitting Barracudas for worst overall batting average (.262). The Bears did crank out 6 saves to lead the BEML this week.

Bedard Hurls Dawgs Into Lead

July 14, 2007

The Craydawgs took a two point lead yesterday with the help of a 7 inning, 0 run, 7 strikeout win from Erik Bedard:

Rank

Points

TEAM

1

74.5

Craydawgs

2

72.5

Team Phil Chu

2

72.5

Ballbags

Bedard picked up his 8th win and has a 3.22 ERA/1.10 WHIP on the year. He leads the BEML with 156 strikeouts.

 Bedard has helped pitch the Dawgs into the lead

In addition, the Dawgs made like they were using aluminum bats and criznanked five Tommy Chongs yesterday.

Helping the Ballbags keep pace was Brandon Phillips, who went 3-for-5 with a homer and 6 RBI. Phillips is now at .280/18/53/16 on the season.

Johan hurled 7 shutout innings for Team Phil Chu with 8 strikeouts for his second win in as many starts for The Chu.

Snowmen pulled within 1/2 point of the 4th place SeaWolves by knocking in 14 runs last night. The icy ones recorded two Brian McCann homers (11).

Sammy Sosa went 0-for-4 and is now 2-for-19 for the Barracudas since coming over from Team Phil Chu. However, the Cudas still batted .315 on the day and picked up a nice win from Scott Kazmir (6 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks).

barracudas-fanny-pack.jpg It was Barracudas Fanny Pack Nite at the Fish Tank yesterday

More Gary Sheffield? He hit a granny last night (22) for the Brawlers.

Jeremy Bonderman earned his 9th win for the Bears by pitching 7 innings with 3 runs and 5 strikeouts. He makes an intriguing trade target for the contenders.

A-Rod On The Block

July 13, 2007

Those filthy Dirty Dogs are shopping A-Rod around and looking for two keepers and a franchise slot. Representatives of the Ballbags, Craydawgs and Team Phil Chu were unavailable for comment, but it is likely that each of the top three teams would be interested in acquiring The Rod.

 A-Rod can’t believe he’s on the trading block

Speaking of the Dogs and The Rod, A-Rod cranked his 31st jiznack yesterday off the Craydawgs’ Jamie Shields. The Dirtyfellas also picked up wins from King Felix (6) and Andy Pettitte (5).

If A-Rod’s on the block, can the Brawlers’ Gary Sheffield be far behind? Sheff stole two bags last night (14) and is an awfully speedy 38 year-old.

Paul Konerko continues to light it up for his new team the Bears since he came over from the Ballbags. He went 2-for-5 yesterday with a RBI and is now 26-for-75 (.347) with 8 HRs and 16 BI for Los Osos.

 Bears fans agree: Konerko is a tasty morsel

The Barracudas went 8-for-19 (.421) yesterday, including a 4-for-4 from Mike Cuddyer. Cuddyer may quietly put up 20 HRs with 100 RBI this year; he’s at .283/10/54/3 so far.

Jose Reyes flashed some pop for his new squad the Snowdudes, going 2-for-3 with his 5th shinshee shinshee.

 “Lover, Jose Reyes hit his 5th shinshee shinshee.”

Bobby Abreu has his average up to .270 for the SeaWolves after going 3-for-4 yesterday and blasting his 6th Toblerone(R).

Manny knocked in three runs yesterday for the Craydiznawgs. He has gone 45-for-135 (.333) since his acquisition from the Bears, with 4 HR/20 BI.

Jim Thome did it again for The Chu, cranking his 4th konichiwa in just 29 at-bats. He’s been Ruth-esque under the tutelage of Chu hitting coach Brant Brown.

bad-art-jim-thome.jpgTeam Phil Chu commissioned this sobering portrait of Jim Thome for The Chu’s executive offices after he hit his 4th homer in 29 at-bats for them

The Ballbags are once again in 1st by a point over Dawgs and Chu. Al Rios (18) and Derek Jeter (6) went deep, and Mags Ordonez drove in his 71st and 72nd RBIs.

Weekly Bests And Worsts Of The BEML–Redux

July 11, 2007
Best Batting Avg.—Week .343 SeaWolves (Week 9)
Worst Batting Avg.—Week .214 Barracudas (Week 7)
Most HRs 19 Bears (Weeks 8, 11)
Fewest HRs 3 Barracudas (Week 1), Snowmen (Week 2), SeaWolves (Week 13)
Most RBI 68 Team Phil Chu (Week 14)
Fewest RBI 22 Snowmen (Week 2)
Most Runs 70 Ballbags (Week 10)
Fewest Runs 27 Snowmen (Week 2)
Most Stolen Bases 21 Team Phil Chu (Week 13)
Fewest Stolen Bases 0 Brawlers (Week 6)
Best ERA 1.11 Bears (Week 13)
Worst ERA 7.34 Bears (Week 11)
Best WHIP 0.87 Craydawgs (Week 6)
Worst WHIP 1.82 Bears (Week 11)
Most Wins 9 Ballbags (Week 13)
Fewest Wins 0 SeaWolves (Week 2), Bears (Weeks 3 & 8), Brawlers (Week 10), Team Phil Chu (Week 13), Ballbags (Week 14)
Most Saves 9 Team Phil Chu (Week 5)
Fewest Saves 0 Barracudas (Weeks 2, 7, 12), Ballbags (Week 12), Dirty Dogs (Week 12), Team Phil Chu (Week 14)
Most Strikeouts 79 Craydawgs (Week 7)
Fewest Strikeouts 19 Dirty Dogs (Week 3)