Archive for August, 2007

Race Tightens Up

August 29, 2007

Ahoy, maties:

Rank

Team Points
1 Craydawgs 76.5
2 Ballbags 75.5
3 Team Phil Chu 74.5

Out of nowhere, the Bags have closed the gap and trail by 1 point. Meanwhile, the Craydawgs announced that Manny Ramirez and Erik Bedard are struggling with oblique injuries. Stay tuned.

Week 20 Report: Epic Battle For The Basement

August 20, 2007

Behold:

Last Week

Rank

Points

TEAM

Hitting Pitching

Rank Points Change

1

79.0

Craydawgs

41.0

38.0

1

78.0

+ 1.0

2

74.0

Team Phil Chu

36.0

38.0

2

76.5

-2.5

3

72.0

Ballbags

38.0

34.0

3

73.0

-1.0

4

53.0

Snowmen

27.0

26.0

4

53.0

5

40.0

SeaWolves

21.0

19.0

6

38.0

+ 2.0

6

38.0

Barracudas

9.0

29.0

5

39.0

-1.0

7

32.0

Brawlers

15.0

17.0

7

31.5

+ 0.5

8

31.0

Bears

18.0

13.0

9

30.0

+ 1.0

8

31.0

Dirty Dogs

20.0

11.0

8

31.0

Let’s kick this off from the back end, that is, the epic battle that is going down over last place. That’s $25.00 at stake, babies, but most importantly, pride is on the line. The Dirty Dogs are certainly making a race for the bottom with the way they’ve been playing. They had the worst ERA (5.22), worst WHIP (1.69), fewest saves (1), worst BA (.223), and fewest RBI (34) in Week 20. Jeff Francis got called on the carpet by owner Shaun Manusama for giving up 10 runs in 9.3 innings, but Andy Pettitte pitched his way out of the Dirty Dog house with 8 solid innings of 1-run ball for a win. Pettitte is vying for a renewal of his contract ($0.50) for 2008.

 Pettitte pitched himself out of the Dirty Dog house this week.

Not to be outdone, the Bears put up a league low in runs (34), steals (1) and strikeouts (31) this week. On the flipside, they led the league in wins (7) and posted a very respectable 3.67 ERA and 1.08 WHIP. Greg Maddux led the way with 11.7 innings, 2 wins, and just one earned run. Adam Dunn deposited 4 balls in the seats at the Bear Den (34).

 The Bears’ mascot was the subject of a controversial sex tape leaked this week.

The Brawlers have been playing pretty well of late and have 42 homers in the last three weeks, second only to Team Phil Chu’s 46. Veteran BEMLer Moises Alou jacked 2 (9) this week to go with 7 BI and a .348 average.

 Brawlers fan: Hasim Rahman

The Barracudas’ brief stint in 5th is over, mainly due to a late week surge by the SeaWolves. I think we all thought Delmon Young might be a 20/20 guy, maybe even a 30/30 fella, but he’s shaping up more as a “10/10” dude in ’07. He went 3-for-22 this week (.136) and is at .290/9/64/7 on the year. Them’s Melky Cabrera numbers.

 The Cudas: “We’re Number Six.”

The SeaWolves picked up a couple points this week and are back in 5th place. They led the league in average (.308), RBI (48) and strikeouts (75). Bobby Abreu continues to do it to it lately, hitting .375 in Week 20 with 3 HRs, 6 BI and 2 steals. He is now at a very respectable .287/14/84/17 this year. Big Papi is also trying to salvage his year; he hit 2 HRs (21) this week with 9 BI and is now at .316/21/79/2.

 That’s Bobby Abreu who had a nice Week 20 . . .

 Not former San Diego Chargers tight end Alfred Pupunu.

The Snowmen? Still in 4th, where they will likely finish. New pickup Mark Teixeira looks good in Snowman white, as he hit 3 snowballs with 7 BI and a .294 average this week.

The 3rd place Ballbags dropped a point this week and are 7 out of 1st. Heading into Sunday, they had hit just one homer in Week 20, but put up 5 on Sunday to finish with a more respectable six HRs (still lowest in the BEML this week). They did rack up 19 steals to pass The Chu for 2nd in that category, and led the league in ERA (1.77) and WHIP (0.90). Brandon Webb led the way with a complete game shutout for his 13th victory. He has pitched 42 consecutive scoreless innings, setting an all-time BEML record.

The Chu dropped 2.5 points this week and are 5 points out of 1st. They led the league in HRs this week (17); Carlos Beltran contributed 4 (23) to go with 10 RBI and a .375 average. Johan Santana struck out 21 batters in 15 innings this week, including 17 Ks in his last outing.

 The Chu got a big Week 20 from this Carlos . . .

 Not this Carlos (international terrorist Carlos the Jackal)

The 1st place Craydawgs picked up one point. With single digit homers the last two weeks, they are in danger of losing HR points to the Snowmen and The Chu. However, they led the league in runs (57) and saves (9) and posted a nice 1.93 ERA/1.09 WHIP in Week 20. Albert Pujols cranked 3 dongs (27) this week and hit .476. The Dawgs got some really good pitching out of starters Erik Bedard (7 IP, 0 ER, 8 Ks), Dan Haren (6 IP, 2 ER, 7 Ks), Kelvim Escobar (7 IP, ER, 9 Ks) and Jamie Shields (12 IP, 3 ER, 11 Ks), but could muster just one win this week.

 This Albert carried the Dawgs this week . . .

Not this Albert.

Stretch Run

August 17, 2007

1

Craydawgs

80.0

2

Team Phil Chu

73.5

3

Ballbags

72.0

The BEML August 15 trading deadline came and went this week without any big moves. The teams will have to do battle with the troops they’ve got for the final six weeks.

The Cudas have been surging lately and have taken 5th place. Markoski’s boys went 12-for-29 yesterday (.414) with 3 HRs and 12 BI. Mike Cameron (8), Gary Matthews (5) and Ben Molina turned up the hizneat with homers. Cole Hamels added 6.7 scoreless innings to post his 5th win for the Coods. C-Ham has a 2.75 ERA/0.95 WHIP in 55.7 innings for Los Pescados.

hand.jpg Los Pescados son el numero cinco

The Craydawgs got a great outing from Kelvim last night: 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks, W (13). Escobar has a 2.68 ERA in 158 innings and helps form a nice, minimum-salary one-two punch with his teammate Erik Bedard (2.98 ERA/1.08 WHIP, 207 Ks). Unfortunately for the Dawgs, both pitchers are in their contract years and are set up for huge deals as free agents in 2008.

It was a lackluster day for the Ballbags in yesterday’s action: 9-for-35 (.257) with 0 homers and 4 BI. Jason Bay did his part, though, going 3-for-4 with 3 BI. The Bags are working without a catcher since Michael Barrett went down earlier this week.

Team Phil Chu is also working without a catcher since Paul LoDuca was injured. The Chu got a nice game from Carlos Beltran yesterday as he went 3-for-5 with a HR (21), 2 BI and a steal (16). Francisco Rodriguez got an ugly save last night (1 IP, 2 ER) and has given up 6 earned runs in his last 7.1 innings.

The Bears have wrestled their way out of last place and went on a rampage yesterday: 17-for-45 (.378) with three homers and 13 BI. Carlos Guillen kicked in a grand slam (15).

victorthebear.jpg The Bears wrestled their way out of last place

Todd Jones has pitched great over 20 innings (2.25 ERA/1.00 WHIP) for the Dirty Dogs, but he gave up a couple runs yesterday. The Dirty Dogs slipped into last place. Until Kaz Matsui went 2-for-4 yesterday to lift his average to .300, the DDs did not have a single batter hitting .300.

Justin Verlander picked up a win yesterday for the Brawlers, but he has not pitched well for them overall: 4.89 ERA/1.44 WHIP over 44 innings. The Brawlers are suddenly in 7th place, though, 3 points ahead of the Filthy Ones.

Week 19 Report: BEML Fans Show Their Team Pride

August 14, 2007

What’s the status, Gladys?:

Last Week

Rank

Points

TEAM

Hitting Pitching

Rank Points Change

1

78.0

Craydawgs

40.5

37.5

1

79.0

-1.0

2

76.5

Team Phil Chu

36.5

40.0

2

76.0

+ 0.5

3

73.0

Ballbags

40.0

33.0

3

71.0

+ 2.0

4

53.0

Snowmen

27.0

26.0

4

54.0

-1.0

5

39.0

Barracudas

9.0

30.0

6

38.0

+ 1.0

6

38.0

SeaWolves

19.0

19.0

5

40.5

-2.5

7

31.5

Brawlers

15.0

16.5

9

29.0

+ 2.5

8

31.0

Dirty Dogs

21.0

10.0

7

31.5

-0.5

9

30.0

Bears

17.0

13.0

8

31.0

-1.0

The Dawgs are hangin’ tough, though they lost 1.5 points off their lead over the Chu. Unfortunately, some nagging injuries bedeviled the Crizzies in Week 19, sapping crucial at-bats from Posada, Hafner and A-Ram. David Wright did his best to shoulder the load, with 3 dings (22). Dude is well on his way to 30/30 status (.305/22/74/25).

mrfurley6bmp_1.jpg Shout out to long-time Craydawgs fan, Mr. Furley (RIP).

regal-beagle.jpg The Regal Beagle(R) is the Official Cocktail Lounge of the Craydawgs

The Chu led the league in ERA (2.96) and Wins (6) and is locked in heated battle in several categories: Runs (tied with the Dawgs); RBI (-1 to the Ballbags); Batting Average (.0006 ahead of the Dawgs); Wins (+1 over the Cudas); Saves (+1 over the Bears); and WHIP (+.001 over the Dawgs). Jim Thome picked a rough time to go cold on the Chu (1-for-19, .053), but Robby Cano did his best to pick up tha sliznack by hitting .429 with 2 HRs (13) and 6 BI. On the pitching end, Wang said “dang” when he got hammered for 8 runs in 2.7 innings. However, Bobby Jenks lowered his WHIP to 0.37 by retiring his last 41 batters, setting a BEML record.

hu-jintao.jpg Hu Jintao = Team Phil Chu fanatic, “long time.”

Don’t count the Ballbags out. Those dudes are just 5 points out and picked up 3 points on the 1st place Craydawgs this week. Well, what were the Bags up to in Week 19? I’ll tell you. They retook the HR lead by blasting 13 of those. Then, they increased their lead in Runs by leading the league in that category (59). Not enough for you? They also led the league in strikeouts (47). Huh? You want some more? Mags hit .500 with 4 HRs (21) and 10 BI. He’s at .357/21/102/2 on the season and a possible MVP. Brandon Webb lowered his ERA to 2.77 with a complete game shutout. ‘Nuff said.

bush-rugby.jpg Ballbags fan: George Bush.

Snowmen picked up nil wins this week but spit out a BEML-leading 9 saves. Hanley Ramirez is just freak nasty: 2 HR, 5 BI, 5 steals, and a .333 average this week.

Who is that in 5th place?? The Barracudas! They led the league in steals (10) and wins (6) but trailed in HRs (7) and will be lucky to break 200 homers this year. Chone Figgins continued to do his damage, hitting .391 with a homer, 7 BI and 4 steals. He’s at .345/2/43/32 on the year. John Lackey notched his 15th win.

quint.jpg Captain Quint is a serious Barracudas fan

SeaWolves were the big losers this week, dropping 2.5 points into 6th place. They had the lowest strikeout total (24) for the second week in a row.

wolfman-jack.jpg SeaWolves fan Wolfman Jack

Brawlers were the big gainers this week (2.5 points) and showed some surprising late-season spunk. They led the BEML in HRs (21), RBI (58), batting average (.320), and Ks (47). Diaz must have given Raul Ibanez a talking-to, since Raul went .481 with 5 HRs and 11 RBI this week. Unfortunately, the pitching took a beating (6.31 ERA/1.60 WHIP). Oliver Perez showed his dark side (10 IP, 10 ER, 2.00 WHIP).

Brawlers fans:

van-gundy.jpg Jeff Van Gundy (on Alonzo Mourning’s leg)

drago-full.jpg Ivan Drago

Dirty Dogs fell to 8th this week. Brian Giles broke the fall, though, cracking 5 HRs (6). Prince tacked on 4 of his own. The Dogs got some solid work on the mound this week (3.40 ERA), especially from oft-belittled Jose Contreras (7 IP, 0 ER). Todd Jones has continued his hot streak with the Dogs. He has a 1.50 ERA/0.83 WHIP in 18 innings for them.

pharrell_pic.gif Dirty Dogs fan, Pharrell Williams (“I’m a dirty dog”–Lap Dance, N.E.R.D.)

The Bears remain in last, although BEMLBlog is projecting the Dirty Dogs to finish at the bottom. The Bears drove in just 34 this week and hit only .238. However, they led the league in WHIP with a 1.01 mark. Jake Westbrook posted 15 innings with a 3.00 ERA/0.87 WHIP and a win.

mcmahon.jpg Bears fan: “Punky QB” Jim McMahon

Week 18 Report: Poppa Rallies The Chu-Troops From The Hospital

August 6, 2007

The standings, with just less than a third of the season to go:

Last Week

Rank

Points

TEAM

Hitting Pitching

Rank Points Change

1

79.0

Craydawgs

41.0

38.0

1

80.0

-1.0

2

76.0

Team Phil Chu

36.0

40.0

3

73.5

+ 2.5

3

71.0

Ballbags

38.0

33.0

2

74.0

-3.0

4

54.0

Snowmen

26.0

28.0

4

54.0

5

40.5

SeaWolves

22.5

18.0

5

39.0

+ 1.5

6

38.0

Barracudas

8.0

30.0

6

37.0

+ 1.0

7

31.5

Dirty Dogs

22.5

9.0

7

32.5

-1.0

8

31.0

Bears

18.0

13.0

8

30.0

+ 1.0

9

29.0

Brawlers

13.0

16.0

8

30.0

-1.0

Perhaps rallying behind their hospitalized owner/manager, Team Phil Chu picked up 3.5 points on the Craydawgs this week and are just 3 points back. TPC led the league this week in WHIP (1.18) to regain the lead in that category, and tied the Dawgs for most saves (8). The offensive standout for The Chu was Robinson Cano, who hit .478 with 3 Robert Louis Stevensons (11) and 9 RBI (63). He’s turning it on at the right time for Chu. The real Chu story this week lies in the pitching. Jake Peavy struck out 10 (154) in picking up his 11th win and lowering his ERA to 2.30. Roy Oswalt (6 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks, W) and Chien-Ming Wang (7 IP, 1 ER, W) also had strong outings to honor their fallen leader.

robert-louis-stevenson.jpg Robinson Cano hit 3 Robert Louis Stevensons this week

Meanwhile, the 1st place Craydawgs did their best to hold on to the lead, posting a BEML-leading 2.85 ERA. The Dawgs leaned on Jorge Posada in Week 18; Jorge cranked 3 HRs (14), drove in 7 (65) and hit .444. Erik Bedard did his part to maintain a sizable strikeout category lead by punching out 17 in 12.7 innings and earning two wins (12). And Javier Vasquez has been a solid mid-season acquisition from the Snowmen; he picked up his 5th win for the Dawgs and has a sparkling 3.08 ERA/0.99 ratio.

jorge-posada.jpg The Dawgs enjoyed an excellent week from this Jorge . . .

jorgeluisborges01-250.jpg Not this Jorge (Argentinean author Jorge Luis Borges)

The Ballbags slipped three points and are 8 points out of 1st. The Bags experienced an uncharacteristic power outage this week, hitting just 8 HRs with 35 RBI. However, they continued to put on a speed display, racking up 16 steals. They’ve led that category for four weeks straight. The Bags also received some bad news, learning that Alfonso Soriano will miss 2-4 weeks due to a quadriceps strain. On the pitching side, Bronson Arroyo dealt his team a horrible blow by coughing up 7 runs in 1.7 innings. Chris Young remains on the DL, so it was up to Brandon Webb to try to stop the bleeding: 16 IP, 11 Ks, 0 ER, 2 wins (11).

poweroutage.jpg The Ballbags suffered a power outage this week

Snowmen were an offensive juggernaut this week: 21 HRs, 58 runs, 57 RBI, 13 steals, and a .302 average. Ryan Zimmerman hit 2 HRs (5) and drove in 11 (19) while batting .519 on the week. Pat the Bat came alive with 4 HRs and a .417 average. On the pitching side, one of the sweetest free-agent pickups has been Fausto Carmona, who posted a 1.93 ERA/1.14 WHIP this week in 14 innings. He has 5 wins and a 1.68 ERA/1.14 WHIP for the Snowmen in 48 innings. 

fausto-carmona.jpg Doing well for the Snowmen: Fausto

faust.jpg Not doing so well for the Snowmen: Faust

SeaWolves led the league in batting average in Week 18 with a .327 mark. Bobby Abreu straight busted out with a 12-for-20 (.600) week with 3 dongs and 9 BI. He’s at .286/11/70/15 on the year and can no longer be declared a total bust. Vlad? 4 blood transfusions (18) and 9 BI (90) with a .379 average this week. Finally, there’s Big Papi, who busted 3 nuts, drove in 7, and hit .478. Did you know Matt Cain has only 3 wins this year in 137 innings? Nevertheless, he struck out 11 in 7.3 innings this week.

matt-cain.jpg This Cain = 11 strikeouts this week for the SeaWolves

cain_and_abel.jpg This Cain = zero strikeouts for the SeaWolves

Barracudas picked up a point but still find themselves 1.5 points in back of the 5th place Wolves. The Cudas topped 50 BI (57) for the 2nd week in a row and led the BEML in that category. Cudas also led the league in Wins (6), and led the BEML in Strikeouts (73) for the 2nd week straight. Garrett Atkins drove in an unbelievable 14 runs this week and is at .270/17/75/3 on the year. Not $3.50 salary good, but pretty good anyway. Driving the Cudas’ pitching success this week were Cole Hamels (15 IP, 5 ER, 13 Ks, W), John Lackey (15.7 IP, 3 ER, 10 Ks, 2 Ws), and Scot Kazmir (7 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks, W). The Cudas report they will likely place the franchise tag on Lackey in 2008, and are looking to deal for a 2nd franchise slot to enable them to keep the talented Kazmir.

kazmir.jpg Talkin’ ’bout Kazmir, yo . . .

kashmir.jpg Not Kashmir, the Led Zeppelin Tribute Band from Champaign, Illinois

Dirty Dogs knocked only 2 homers this week, both coming from new acquisition Prince Fielder, who also drove in 8 runs. Richie Sexson went 0-for-13, dropping his average to .196. Andy Pettitte pitched well (7 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks, W), as did new acquisition Jeff Francis (6 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks, W).

bad-art-bill-romanowski.jpg Non-sequitur alert: Is this, or is this not, some bad-ass art featuring the Oakland Raiders’ Bill Romanowski? I believe he’s fighting a bronco with a mane of fire.

The Bears scored low marks in Runs (33), RBI (27), steals (2), batting average (.249), Wins (2), ERA (5.86), and WHIP (1.47) this week, but somehow still picked up a point and remained out of the cellar. Hideki is making for a nice late season trade target, as he went .348 with 3 goners and 7 BI in Week 18. Justin Morneau cooled off a bit, going just 3-for-22 (.136) this week with no counting stats. The Bears benched Jon Garland after he gave up 8 runs in just 1.3 innings this week. Jake Westbrook will try to do better.

The Brawlers dropped one point and are two points behind the Bears. Joe Blanton bested the Craydawgs Kelvim Escobar this week in a pitchers’ duel to pick up his first win for his new team. The offensive story was Placido Polanco, who hit .458 with his 6th HR. He’s hitting .346 for the Brawl.

polanco.jpg Talkin’ ’bout Placido Polanco . . .

enrico-pallazzo.jpg Not Enrico Pallazzo.

Get Well, Poppa!

August 4, 2007

Rank

Points

TEAM

1

80.0

Craydawgs

2

74.0

Team Phil Chu

3

73.5

Ballbags

BEMLBlog was upset to learn that the lifeforce of the BEML, Poppa Joe/Pork Chop was in the hospital this week. BEMLBlog sends best wishes to the Poppa for a quick recovery.

er38-copy.jpg Poppa gets some TLC from Annabella Sciorra and Nurse Samantha Taggart

er-grimes44.jpg Doctors determine that nothing can stop Team Phil Chu from vying for the BEML pennant

sixmilman-copy.jpg Gentlemen, we can make him better than before. Better, stronger, faster. . .

In other news, BEML welcomes back Love The Drake, whose owner Andy Reader has been in Cairo scouting out new talent for his BEML squad. Love The Drake will begin rebuilding their fan base in the DC area and hopefuly get ready for next season. You will note this is a darker, more cynical Drake squad: “I don’t believe in ethics anymore,” says The Drake. Drake’s experiences in the Middle East may have soured him on the human condition.

lovedrakefront.jpg

Non-sequitur alert:

sat-night-fever-copy.jpg If anyone knows how to straight bust a move, it’s the Barracudas’ owner.

Stayin’ Alive

August 1, 2007

Rank

Points

TEAM

1

78.0

Craydawgs

2

74.0

Team Phil Chu

3

73.5

Ballbags

The Dawgs stayed alive in 1st place yesterday after a 21-for-56 (.375) performance with 4 HRs and 13 RBI. Jorge Posada was 4-for-5 and cranked his 12th thong-song. He’s at .339/12/60 on the year. Matty Holliday went 3-for-4 and has raised his average with the Dawgs to .295. Daddy loves this Brian Roberts kid: 2-for-5, 2 runs, HR, 2 BI, SB. He’s at .317/9/40/32. Erik Bedard? 11th win. Danny Haren? 13th win. Nice work, boys.

chris-with-bee-gees.jpg Craydawg had a brief stint with the Brothers Gibb prior to founding the BEML

The Brawlers lost Shane Victorino to the DL yesterday. He’s been a nice free agent pickup for the Brawl: .286/9/27/18.

shane-victorino.jpg The Brawlers lost Shane Victorino . . .

barbarino.jpg Not Vinny Barbarino

The Chu’s Robinson Cano hit his 9th nanu-nanu and has his average up to .300.

The Ballbags got a dazzling 7 innings from Brandon Webb to go with 7 strikeouts last night. Webb has 10 wins.

brandon_webb.jpg This Brandon got his 10th win last night for the Ballbags . . .

Not this Brandon

Snowmen showed some pop yesterday, picking up homers from Pat the Bat (14), Johnny Damon (6), and Brian McCann (12).

The Snowmen got a homer from this Pat . . .

PAT Not this Pat

Speaking of power displays, the SeaWolves got homers from Big Papi (18), Jeff Francoeur (12) and Bobby Abreu (9). Abreu’s at .275/9/64/14. Not bad, after all, but not the 25/25 season the Wolves were probably banking on.

The SeaWolves got a homer from Bobby Abreu . . .

bobby_peru_wild_heart_stocking.jpg Not Bobby Peru

The Barracudas got a complete game shutout from John Lackey for his 13th win, and two juniors from Gary Matthews, Jr. (12). Matthews has disappointed since the Cudas acquired him from the Dirty Dogs: just 2 dongs in 92 at-bats, and a .250 average.

Dirty Dogs pulled a 6-for-41 last night (.146). Jose Contreras pitched in with 2.7 innings and 7 earned runs. My man is now 6.60/1.65 on the year. That hurts, baby.

Bears got two Godzillas from Hideki (18) last night. He’s having a solid year for the Bears: .285/18/57/3.