Archive for April, 2008

AMH Extends Lead

April 30, 2008

Anthony Michael Hall opened up a 5.5 point lead yesterday over the Cudas despite a 21-for-48 (.437) day from the Vicious Fish. AMH cranked three homers and picked up 12 BI to lead the BEML in those categories yesterday. Bill Hall led the way with a 3-for-5 day and 2 BI.

 AMH reaches out to grasp…first place.

The Cudas picked up a 3-run homer from Adrian Beltre (5) to go with a nice win from Cole Hamels (7.3 IP, 2 ER, 6 Ks). Hamels now has three wins on the season with a 2.70 ERA/1.06 WHIP.

Free agent season opens tomorrow and it looks like Wolfpack will have first dibs, followed by the Dirty Dogs, Darkness and aCeS r WiLd. The Pack Is In The Back(TM) and can use all the help they can get. All I know is Cliff Lee is sporting a 0.28 ERA/0.41 WHIP over 31.7 innings, with 29 Ks.

 Talkin’ ’bout Cliff Lee…

 Not the General Lee. 

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Week 4 Report: Barracudas Rise To Surface

April 28, 2008

The rankings for Week 4 play:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Barracudas

70.0

5.5

0.0

2

Dirty Dogs

62.5

39.5

7.5

3

AMH

59.0

-13.5

11.0

4

Darkness

48.5

11.5

21.5

5

Wolfpack

44.5

16.0

25.5

6

Bears

43.5

-5.0

26.5

7

aCeS r WiLd

42.5

2.0

27.5

7

SeaWolves

42.5

-29.5

27.5

9

Craydawgs

37.0

-26.5

33.0

 And the Overall Standings after four weeks:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

AMH

74.5

2.0

0.0

2

Barracudas

71.5

7.0

3.0

3

SeaWolves

67.5

-4.5

7.0

4

Craydawgs

58.5

-5.0

16.0

5

Bears

48.0

-0.5

26.5

6

aCeS r WiLd

38.0

-2.5

36.5

7

Darkness

35.5

-1.5

39.0

8

Dirty Dogs

29.5

6.5

45.0

9

Wolfpack

27.0

-1.5

47.5

Cudas rippin’ it up lately. ‘Koski’s Krewe led the BEML in BA (.297), RBI (54), Ks (66) and WHIP (1.12) in Week 4 and picked up seven points. Fellas even worked out a cameo in first place for a couple of days this week. Lance Berkman led the way with 4 HRs (8), 12 BI (23), and a .455 BA (.322). Garrett Atkins had 3 HRs (6) and 9 BI (20). Tim Lincecum is pitching the crud out of it and now has a 1.23 ERA. I told you these Cudas would be the main competition for your Craydawgs this year.

 Talkin’ ’bout Garrett Atkins…

 …rather than Dr. Atkins.

There was also a Dirty Dogs sighting in Week 4. The D to the D picked up 6.5 points and jumped the proverbial fence out of last place. Dogs racked up 16 HRs to lead the league this week. All of a sudden Prince Fielder is back. The Big Dog cranked 3 HRs this week and it looks like he’ll be OK after all. Anthony Michael Hall’s window to pry him away for, say, Bill Hall, is officially CLOSED. What else can BEMLBlog tell you about the DDs? Liriano is not doing well after giving up 6 runs in 2/3 of an inning. He has an 11.32 ERA. DDs are working four closers in the mix and lead the league in Saves (27).

 Dirty Dogs medical staff tends to Francisco Liriano after he pitched his arm off.

That Anthony Michael Hall keeps playing consistent fantasy ball, picking up two points to remain in 1st place. This week, AMH excelled on the mound with a BEML-topping 2.24 ERA and 10 Saves. Troy Percival picked up four of those (5) and has yet to give up a run in nine innings thus far. I don’t see how Troy P can keep it up, but more power to tha AMH as long as he lasts. Did you see the identical pitching lines Jake Peavy and Roy Oswalt put up this week?: 13 IP, 11 Ks, 16 H+BB, 4.15 ERA/1.23 WHIP. Let’s just admit AMH is going to be tough to beat on the mound this year. The offense has to do just enough to keep the juggernaut going; this week, not so hot, with 11 HRs and just 31 BI. Jason Kendall (.208/0/0) this week is not going to cut it at catcher. Brandon Phillips did his part, with 4 HRs (5), 8 BI (13), and a steal (4).

 Note to AMH: Jason Kendall’s defensive stats don’t count in BEML play. Accordingly, there’s no good reason to have him in the AMH lineup.

Darkness did well this week but still dropped 1.5 points overall. Darkness has the worst BA thus far (.256) and fewest HR (34). You know who’s looking good, though? Adam Wainwright. He had a 2.81 ERA/0.94 WHIP with 12 Ks over 16 innings this week. Dude is at 2.79/1.01 on the year so far.

 Rick James is rolling in his grave (outside Blackout Park at Ebbets Field) over Darkness’ tepid start this year.

Wolfpack! Last place means a new slogan: “The Pack Is In The Back(TM).” They dropped 1.5 points in Week 4 with a league-worst .242 BA, an anemic 2 steals. Don’t blame Josh Willingham, however. Ol’ JW hit .458 this week with 2 Dongers and 7 BI. No relation to former Craydawgs pitcher William Vanlandingham.

 Talkin’ ’bout Willingham…

  Not erstwhile Craydawg William Vanlandingham.

Bears! These guys have barely moved since the beginning of the year. A league-low 34 Ks in Week 4. The Orsas lost 0.5 points. Mags! 3 HRs (5) and 10 BI (17), with a .400 BA (.305).

aCeS! Dropped 2.5 points this week, despite a league-leading 5 wins in Week 4, and a solid 9 steals. Big Papi! He cranked 2 HRs this week with 8 BI and is now up to .177/4/20. Papi’s going to make it. Ben Sheets is out! You knew this would happen when you drafted him! Gotta replace him aCeS!

The SeaWolves did themselves no favors with a weak performance in Week 4, dropping 4.5 points into third place and seven points out. The Lupi Maris aren’t shy on the basepaths, though, racking up a league-leading 54 runs and 10 steals on the week. Burrell! Good god, man. Two more homers this week, with 8 BI and a .375 average. He’s up to .349/8/25 and is gunning for BEML MVP, or at the very least–MVL (Most Valuable Lupine). Pat the Bat and Hanley (3 HRs) combined for all of the SeaWolves HRs this week.

 “To hell with Pat Burrell, kids. I’m the Most Valuable Wolf.”

Come on, you Craydawgs. Dropped five points this week. Just 6 HRs hurts. The worst of it was the pitching–a BEML-worst 5.49 ERA/1.48 WHIP does not help things. Garko! 1-for-20 (.050). Reyes! 3-for-30 (.100). Posada! Hitting the DL. Danny Haren! 9.64 ERA this week. Vazquez! 10.12 ERA this week. This will not stand.

 Talkin’ ’bout Garko, yo.

 Not Donnie Darko.

 

Weird Science Drops AMH Into Third Place

April 23, 2008

Anthony Michael Hall hit a collective .089 yesterday (5-for-56), including four strikeouts from Go-Go Gomez. As a result, the AMH boys have dropped to third place, behind the SeaWolves and the surging Barracudas. Adding insult to injury, Darkness’ Brian Backe outdueled AMH ace Jake Peavy last night.

 Kelly LeBrock will sing the National Anthem at tonight’s game between AMH and Darkness.

The Cudas are on the attack and have jumped into 2nd place, just two points off the lead. The Coods hit .396 on the day. Miguel Tejada went 4-for-5 with 2 BI, CC came back on the grid with 6 scoreless innings and 11 Ks, and John Smoltz pitched 7 innings with 10 Ks.

Heart tribute band “Barracuda” will rock the fish tank tonight for the game against the Dawgs.

Week 3 Report: Bears Develop An Odd Fan Base

April 21, 2008

The standings for Week 3 play:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

SeaWolves

69.5

-3.0

0.0

2

AMH

61.5

-13.0

8.0

3

Bears

59.0

12.5

10.5

4

Craydawgs

52.0

-15.5

17.5

5

Barracudas

49.5

-16.5

20.0

6

Darkness

44.5

10.0

25.0

7

aCeS r WiLd

44.0

9.0

25.5

8

Dirty Dogs

36.5

12.5

33.0

9

Wolfpack

33.5

4.0

36.0

And the OVERALL STANDINGS:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

AMH

72.5

-2.0

0.0

2

SeaWolves

72.0

-0.5

0.5

3

Barracudas

64.5

-1.5

8.0

4

Craydawgs

63.5

-4.0

9.0

5

Bears

48.5

2.0

24.0

6

aCeS r WiLd

40.5

5.5

32.0

7

Darkness

37.0

2.5

35.5

8

Wolfpack

28.5

-1.0

44.0

9

Dirty Dogs

23.0

-1.0

49.5

AMH and SeaWolves are neck-and-neck after three weeks of play, 72.5 to 72. SeaWolves actually had the better week in Week 3: 69.5 to 61.5 and picked up 1.5 points on AMH. The Wolves led the league in BA (.305), Runs (59), RBI (56), and Ks (46). David Wright hit .521 with 9 BI (19), and Conor Jackson hit .480 with 3 HRs and 10 BI (17). Pat Burrell? Hell. Dude is up to 6 HRs and 17 BI, with a .338 average. On the pitching end, fella by the name of Brando Webb is up to 4 wins with a 1.86 ERA and 0.79 WHIP. This is the Wolves’ 15th year and it appears to be their best chance yet to capture the BEML crown.

 Los Lobos Del Mar search high and low for their first title.

What do you think Anthony Michael Hall has to say about it? Nothin’ nice. AMH led the league this week with 16 Candles (HRs, that is) and leads the BEML in that category to date (42), as well as RBIs (150) and WHIP (1.15). Did you know? Chipper is batting .458 in the early going with 6 HRs and 18 BI after blasting 4 HRs this week and 7 BIs and a .565 BA. The Chip may only get 400 ABs this year, so I guess they better be productive. Derrek Lee is also helping to carry the load, with 7 HR/17 BI and a .363 BA thus far. He notched 3 HRs this week with 8 BI and a .400 BA. Unfortunately for AMH this week, however, the pitching posted a 5.35 ERA. Greg Maddux allowed 16 baserunners over 7 innings and posted an 11.57 ERA. The AMH closers gave up 10 ER in just 7.7 innings. Alas, such performances do not a BEML championship make.

 AMH is still chillin’ in 1st.

The Bears gained a lil’ traction this week, picking up 2 points and finishing third on the week. Los Osos had a league-best 2.67 ERA this week and lead the league overall with a 3.04 ERA this year. Fausto gave up just a run in 6.7 IP for a win (2). Shaun Marcum picked up a win after giving up just two runs in 6.7 IP; he has a 2.61 ERA/0.87 WHIP thus far. Unfortunately for the Bears, while the pitching is clicking, the hitting is a little rough: Jason Giambi is hitting just .109, Adam Dunn is at .189, Brando Inge is at .222, Andruw Jones is at .129, Gary Matthews is at .172, Napoli’s at .227…yikes.

 The Bears have developed an unusual fan base over the years.

Your Dawgs slipped the most this week, losing four points, and now find themselves 9 points behind leader AMH. The Dawgs would appear to have speed to burn in the lineup, what with Jose Reyes, Brian Roberts, Jimmy Rollins, Ryan Braun, Torii Hunter, Nick Markakis, etc., but the wheels have yet to turn. They managed only five steals in Week 3 and have now swiped only 17 on the year. On the pitching side, the Dawgs got nice work out of Johnny Cueto (7 IP, 2 ER, 5 Ks), Danny Haren (7 IP, 0 ER, 4 H+W, W), Brett Myers (7 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks, W) and Javier Vazquez (6.3 IP, 2 ER, 4 Ks, W). Craydawgs management is challenging its players to kick it up a notch in Week 4.

  Jose and Jimmy have yet to get this started.

The Cudas dropped 1.5 points this week, but still moved into third by virtue of the Dawgs’ drop. The Cudas are pacing the league in BA (.292), Steals (34), Ks (160), and Wins (14). Chase Utley is making everyone wish they spent that extra quarter at the draft table: he cranked 5 HRs this week (8 total) and hit .391. The Cudas posted a league-worst 1.69 WHIP this week after poor outings by A.J., C.C., and Derek Lowe (12 H+BB in 4.3 IP). C.C. has posted a 2.56 ERA on the year. Oh, snap, that’s his WHIP(!). C.C. is turning out to be the year’s biggest bust and may very well be the ruin of the ’08 Coods.

Darkness picked up 2.5 points in Week 3. What went right? Giardina put in Furcal (7-for-14, HR, 2 BI, 2 SB) in place of Belliard (.200 on the season). Big Tex hit 2 HRs (4) with 6 BI (12) and hit .320. Adam Wainwright is a heck of a bargain; he worked 7.7 IP this week with 6 Ks and just one ER for the win (2). What went wrong? The other shoe finally dropped for Brando Backe, who gave up 5 ER and 12 baserunners in just 3 innings. T-Hud gave up 4 runs and 7 baserunners in 3 IP.

aCeS r WiLd picked up 5.5 points in Week 3, which is unusual since they almost swept the bottom spot in each of the pitching categories this week (6.47 ERA, 22 Ks, 1 Save, 1 Win). Manny is looking great thus far and is up to .338/6/20. Papi came around a bit, with a homer and 9 BI this week. The pitching staff is unraveling, though. Wang gave up 8 runs in 4 IP; Mussina gave up 5 runs in 3 IP. Brad Hennessey and Jeff Suppan are walking oxymorons as they both pitch on a team called “aCeS.”

The Dirty Dogs continue to struggle and remain in last place. This week they pulled an unusual perfecta as they swept last place in all offensive categories: BA (.243), HR (6), Runs (32), RBI (33), and Steals (2). Delgado went 1-for-22 and is hitting just .200 on the year with one HR. Prince is at .222 with one HR. Alfonso Soriano has hit the DL. Dogs are hurtin’ for certain with the bat. On the pitching side, things are a bit brighter. The filthy puppies rocked a 2.90 ERA with 12 saves. Billy Wagner has yet to give up a run and has offered up just one hit over 7 IP. Francisco Liriano is back, and that dude can only help matters.

The Wolfpack fell a point and remain mired in 8th place. On the plus side, Miggy Cabrera has awoken; he hit 2 bombs with 11 BI and a .429 BA in Week 3. King Felix is mowin’ ’em down with a 1.47 ERA / 1.17 WHIP. Chris Young pitched to his potential this week with 2 ER in 6 IP (3.00 ERA/1.00 WHIP). Ryan Howard is killing the pack right now, though; he hit .174 this week and is at .186 on the year. Hunter Pence is really struggling, hitting just .161 on the year with no HRs and 2 BI.

 The Wolfpack is asleep.

All-Time Craydawgs Part III: The Pitchers

April 20, 2008

Hello, blokes. Everywhere I go, people want to know: “Who’s on the All-Time Craydawgs pitching staff?” Well, it’s about time I told you. In fact, this is long overdue, since it’s a feature I promised last year as the third in a series of “All-Time Craydawgs” features (Part I: The Infield; Part II: The Outfield).

GREG MADDUX

Years

IP

Wins

Saves

ERA

WHIP

’93-’96, ‘00

1,015.3

77

0

2.15

0.96

The Mad Dog. O.C. (“Original Craydawg”). We still have never seen a run like dude had for the ’93-’96 Dawgs. Just look at that ERA and WHIP. My word. Mad-thing is the Dawgs’ all-time leader in Wins and Innings Pitched, and ranks third in ERA (Rod Beck, Byung-Hyun Kim) and second in WHIP (Rod Beck). His best season for the Dawgees came in 1995 when he whipped 290.7 innings and compiled 19 wins and a 1.63 ERA / 0.81 WHIP. No wonder the Craydawgs organization retired his number 31 last year.

 A nice little memento from #31 adorns the Craydawgs front office.

ANDY ASHBY

Years

IP

Wins

Saves

ERA

WHIP

’95-99

936.7

60

0

3.54

1.25

Ol’ Double-A pitched like a mutha for the Dawgs for five straight seasons and earned himself two championships (’95 and ’99). Ashby ranks second all-time in Wins and Innings Pitched for the Dawgs. Best year? 1998, when Ash racked up 17 wins in 226.7 innings with a 3.34 ERA and 1.24 WHIP. The Dawgs always appreciated how undervalued Ashby usually was at the BEML draft table.

 Ashby gets a kick out of the ease with which the Dawgs took the ’95 crown.

AL LEITER

Years

IP

Wins

Saves

ERA

WHIP

’99-’02, ‘04

889.0

57

0

3.63

1.31

The crafty southpaw pitched for the Dawgs over the course of five seasons and helped the Dawgs reach the Promised Land in 1999, 2000, and 2002. Thanks, Alois! Al ranks is the Dawgs’ third all-time winningest pitcher, and ranks third all-time in Innings Pitched. Al’s best year for the Crays was in their 2000 Championship season when he notched 16 Wins and posted a 3.20 ERA and 1.21 WHIP over 208 innings. Nice work.

 Al graciously accepts his All-Time Pitcher recognition from the Craydawgs’ owner.

JAMIE MOYER

Years

IP

Wins

Saves

ERA

WHIP

’02-‘04

605.7

40

0

3.69

1.21

Yes, Jamie Moyer. Another crafty lefty who just flat out pitched the junk for the Dawgs from 2002-04, helping his team win back-to-back championships in 2002-03. Moyer’s heyday was 2003, when he posted 21 wins over 215 innings, with a 3.27 ERA and 1.23 WHIP.

 The Craydawgs owner presents the holy grail of BEML awards –All-Time Craydawgs Pitching Staff–to Jamie Moyer and Jamie’s wife. (Or is Jamie giving Bolinger some sort of Photoshop(R) Achievement Award? –Ed.)

CURT SCHILLING

Years

IP

Wins

Saves

ERA

WHIP

’02-‘03

427.7

31

0

3.11

1.00

Curt’s somewhat of a mercenary, and he was only with the Dawgs for two seasons, but those seasons were damned productive and yielded two championships. Curt went off in ’02 with 23 Wins, a 3.23 ERA and 0.97 WHIP.

 Schilling gets inked to commemorate being named to the All-Time Craydawgs Staff.

JEFF FASSERO

Years

IP

Wins

Saves

ERA

WHIP

’96-‘97

466.0

31

0

3.46

1.25

Evidently you have to dig deep to come up with nine pitchers that warrant “All-Time” status. Case in point, Jeff Fassero, who rounds out the all-time starting staff by virtue of having put together a couple of solid seasons. My man’s best year was ’96, when he won 15 games and posted a 3.30 ERA / 1.17 WHIP.

 Worth a MINT: an autographed Fassero card from the ’96 Craydawgs season.

We’ve about exhausted the starting pitching staff discussion…what about the All-Time Craydawgs Relievers? Glad you asked…

JOHN WETTELAND

Years

IP

Wins

Saves

ERA

WHIP

’97-‘99

183.0

14

112

2.66

1.11

Wetteland anchored the ’97 and ’98 Dawgs pens before cashing in with the ’99 Championship. He is the Craydawgs all-time saves leader with 112. His best season was ’98 when he saved 42 and posted a 2.03 ERA/ 0.98 WHIP.

 Wetteland revels in the Dawgs’ ’99 championship.

JOHN FRANCO

Years

IP

Wins

Saves

ERA

WHIP

’96-‘98

178.7

9

102

2.72

1.34

 Franco never won a ring with the Dawgs but pitched admirably over the course of three productive seasons. He ranks 2nd all-time in saves for the Dawgs, and enjoyed his finest season in ’97 when he saved 36 games and put up a 2.55 ERA / 1.15 WHIP.

 Franco was the last to complain when Craydawgs management instituted a mandatory porn-stache policy for the ’96 season.

TREVOR HOFFMAN

Years

IP

Wins

Saves

ERA

WHIP

’95, ’00-‘01

137.3

11

89

3.15

1.09

T-Bone straight handled the BEML over three seasons with the Dawgs, winning two rings (’95 and ’00). His best work actually occurred during his non-championship season of 2001, when he saved 43 and rocked a 3.43/1.14. Special mention for his stint with the 2000 championship team, in which he came on as a late-season acquisition from the Bears and just tore it up to the tune of 15 saves and a 0.76 ERA / 0.80 WHIP over 23.7 innings.

 Hoffy goes wild with the 2000 Champion Craydawgs

Coming up tomorrow: the BEML Week 3 Report…

Wolfpack Attack!

April 17, 2008

The Wolfpack came on strong yesterday with 4 HRs and 18 BI, including 5 BI each from Miggy Cabrera and Edgar Renteria. King Felix lowered his ERA to 1.47 after spinning a complete game with 8 Ks and just one earned run. Look out for the Pack.

 New Wolfpack logo

The Barracudas were disappointed that their ace, CC Sabathia, was once again TORCHED last night: 4 IP, 9 ER. My man has a 13.50 ERA now. Sources suggest that Markoski is considering tapping team mascot Barry Cuda(R) to start in CC’s stead.

 Sources indicate Barry Cuda(R) may take CC’s next turn on the mound.

Speaking of getting torched, aCeS pitcher Chien-Ming Wang went 4 innings as well yesterday and gave up 8 runs.

 [Art dept.–please insert photo of Asian man on fire here to represent Chien-Ming Wang “getting torched.” Thank you–Ed.]

Finally, BEMLBlog should note that the SeaWolves are back on top of today’s standings with a three point lead over Anthony Michael Hall.

 

Week 2 Report: Wolves, Dawgs, Cudas Close Gap on AMH

April 15, 2008

The standings for Week 2:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Craydawgs

71.0

18.5

0.0

2

Barracudas

68.0

12.0

3.0

3

SeaWolves

64.0

-5.5

7.0

4

AMH

59.0

-20.0

12.0

5

Bears

48.0

1.5

23.0

6

aCeS r WiLd

44.0

14.0

27.0

7

Wolfpack

37.5

5.0

33.5

8

Dirty Dogs

30.5

-3.0

40.5

9

Darkness

28.0

-22.5

43.0

And the overall standings after two weeks: 

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

AMH

74.5

-4.5

0.0

2

SeaWolves

72.5

3.0

2.0

3

Craydawgs

67.5

15.0

7.0

4

Barracudas

66.0

10.0

8.5

5

Bears

46.5

0.0

28.0

6

aCeS r WiLd

35.0

5.0

39.5

7

Darkness

34.5

-16.0

40.0

8

Wolfpack

29.5

-3.0

45.0

9

Dirty Dogs

24.0

-9.5

50.5

The biggest gainer in Week 2? America’s Team(R) the Craydawgs, which led the league this week in HRs (15), RBI (49), Strikeouts (64), and Wins (7), enabling a jump of 15 points. My man Carlos Pena hit just .200, but he made the hits count by blasting 4 HRs (6) this week and racking up 8 BI (13). Crack Hamilton and Paul Konerko also pitched in 2 HRs and 8 BI each. On the pitching end, Javier Vazquez made some noize in his two starts, striking out 17 in 14 innings and picking up two wins. Dude doesn’t mess. Danny Haren also cranked out two wins and 12 Ks in 12 IP.

 The Craydawgs were so hot this week, even Barack got himself some ink. 

 

Who else is bringing the heat? The Cudas, that’s who. Gained 10 points. Outhit the league (.326), outscored the league (53 Runs), and flat outhustled the rest of you (14 Steals). Eric Byrnes just produces, that’s all: .458 this week with a homer and 5 BI. Chone Figgins hit .400 and worked 4 steals into the mix. Thus far the only thing holding these boys back is CC, who sports an 11.57 ERA and 2.36 WHIP after three starts. AJ hasn’t helped either (6.61 ERA, 1.65 WHIP).

 

   Oh no, you didn’t, BEMLBlog!

 

The SeaWolves made a splash over the weekend by briefly taking the pole position, but now find themselves just two points off the lead. The Wolves lead the league in Runs and Saves. Pat Burrell has been ripping the proverbial cover off it, with a .359 BA, 4 HRs, and 13 BI, while Russ Martin (.146) and Robinson Cano (.170) are off to slow starts. Dice-K (3 Ws, 2.70 ERA) and Brandon Webb (3 Ws, 2.14 ERA) have been holding down the pitching front.

 

Anthony Michael Hall got to celebrate his 40th birthday in style this week at Breakfast Club Field, as his namesake squad still leads the BEML after two weeks despite the aforementioned scare from the SeaWolves. I suggest we won’t see AMH at the top next week. Look, Bill Hall isn’t going to carry AMH like he did in Week 1 (he hit .160 in Week 2). Also, Erik Bedard and Rich Harden are hurt, and Roy Oswalt got lit up this week and does not strike people out like he used to. There’s lots of talent on AMH, but not enough sez BEMLBlog. Pass the trophy, Poppa.

 

The Bears are still hibernating a little this spring. Eight players hit .210 or below this week, and the team could not muster up much of a growl on the pitching side, picking up just one win. On the positive tip, Albert Pujols is his old self, and is at .390/3/8 on the year. He’s even thrown in a couple of steals.

 

 Shhh! The Bears are still sleeping. Courtesy BEMLBlog BearCam(R).

 

aCeS r WiLd fared better in Week 2, picking up 5 points to settle into 6th place instead of last. While the aCeS dealt a league-low 5 HRs this week, they posted a respectable 4.18 ERA/1.21 WHIP. Matt Holliday went off for 2 HRs and 10 BI with a .480 BA, and Chien-Ming rocked a miniscule 0.22 WHIP. Big Papi is killing the aCeS, however, posting an 0-for-17 this week and a 3-for-43 on the season thus far (that’s an .070 BA). Ay Papi.

 

Diaz’ Wolfpack moved up a notch into 7th after picking up 5 points in Week 2. The Pack struggled on the mound this week, notching a 6.60 ERA and a 1.63 WHIP. Chris Young and Justin Verlander were uncharacteristically trounced. Joe Borowski continues to blow saves (2). Still, there’s a lot to like about the Pack: Howie Kendrick is hitting .500 (18-for-36) in the early going and the Vernon Wells acquisition appears to be paying off; he’s hitting .320 with 3 HR and 12 BI thus far. BEMLBlog continues to tout the Pack for a strong finish this year.

 

 The Wolfpack has had it with their slow start.

 

Those Dirty Dogs. Struggling. In last place. Like a dog at the pound who just wants a lil’ lovin’, maybe someone to take him home. But people just keep passing by his cage because he’s too dirty. Dirty Dogs got walloped with a league-worst 7.23 ERA/1.96 WHIP in Week 2. Chad Billingsley got racked (15.43 ERA). Francis? Racked (12.60 ERA). Francisco Liriano came off the DL to get…racked (7.71 ERA). Even Carlos Z got racked (7.50 ERA) when he went up against the Dawgs and was outdueled by Brett Myers. The DD offense is struggling too in the early going such that you can almost forgive the DDs for trading away Bay and Young to shake things up at the Shelter.

 

Dirty Dogs need some lovin’, yo. 

 

Darkness hitters have recently complained that the lights are too dim at Blackout Park. To wit, the dark ones batted only .202 with 6 HRs during this week’s homestand. On the other hand, Darkness pitchers aren’t complaining: they posted a league-leading 2.53 ERA in Week 2. But on the whole, the fellas dropped 16 points this week to 7th place. 

 

 The dim lighting at Blackout Park at Ebbets Field makes it difficult for batters to hit there.

SeaWolves Take The Lead

April 13, 2008

Oehm’s SeaWolves have ripped open a 4-point lead over the mighty mighty AMH crew, 77-73. The Wolves rode Jeff Francoeur to the top; Frenchie had 2 bombs and 7 BI yesterday.

 Francoeur celebrates lifting the Wolves to the top.

Meanwhile, AMH ace Johan Santana was bested by aCeS ace Ben Sheets (7.7 IP, 3 ER, 5 Ks, W) in a matchup at the aCeS home digs, The Casino.

 AMH recently made the scene on opening night at Breakfast Club Field with Molly, Ally, and team owner Joe Pravato.

The Craydawgs continue to be hampered by nagging injuries: Rollins (ankle), Reyes (hammy), V-Mart (hammy) and Posada (shoulder) have all missed time recently, sapping at-bats from Los Dawgees, who trail the league in ABs.

The Cudas ripped off four wins and racked up 21 Ks yesterday. Cole Hamels (7 IP, 1 H, 5 Ks) and Derek Lowe (8 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks).

A rivalry is afoot between the Bears and upstart Darkness. The Bears’ Albert Pujols had words with Darkness pitcher Brandon Backe before Friday’s game over an alleged dirty play by Pujols on a play at the plate; an inspired Pujols went on to crank 2 HRs, while Backe shut out the Bears for 5 innings while earning a win yesterday. Stay tuned.

 Darkness pitcher Brandon Backe has words with Pujols before Darkness squared off against Pujols’ Bears.

Wolfpack aces Justin Verlander (6 ER in 7 innings) and Chris Young (3 IP, 6 ER) were rocked yesterday.

Dirty Ds management is considering force-feeding meat to slugger Prince Fielder, who has yet to hit a homer this season after becoming a vegetarian recently.

The Dirty Dogs want Prince to take up meat.

 

 

 

Former Brawler Al Reyes Is Tasered

April 11, 2008

Former Brawler Al Reyes got drunk last night, fell down, picked a fight with someone he mistakenly thought had pushed him down, got punched in the face, waved his arms wildly and spat blood at onlookers, got Tasered(R) by an off-duty cop, got up, got Tasered(R) again into submission, and was arrested. Once a Brawler, always a Brawler. The spitting blood thing is a nice touch.

 To commemorate former Brawler Al Reyes’ arrest and Tasing, the Wolfpack (formerly the Brawlers) will have a special t-shirt giveaway tonight.

 

Protesters Disrupt Dirty Dogs’ Home Opener

April 10, 2008

The Dirty Dogs are used to PETA protesting the filthy condition of their mascots, but now they have to deal with their fans protesting the trading away of talent. The Dirty Dogs’ home opener at The Shelter was postponed due to the disruption caused by angry fans upset at the trading away of former All-BEML OF Jason Bay and SS Michael Young for Andre Ethier and Dan Uggla.

 Dirty Dogs fans shut down The Shelter’s home opener in protest over the trade of Jason Bay and Michael Young. Here, fans destroy a portrait of owner Shaun Manusama.

As if to rub salt in the wounds of the Dirty Dogs’ faithful, Michael Young hit his first homer of the season this evening for Anthony Michael Hall.

In other BEML news, AMH catcher Brian McCann rocked a 3-for-4 with a HR (2) and 3 BI yesterday. Unfortunately for AMH, oft-injured pitcher Rich Harden will hit the DL.

The Bears busted a move into 5th place with a 5 HR, 16 RBI performance. Albert Pujols hit HRs 1 and 2 of the season, and Mike Napoli blasted a grannie (3).

 BEMLBlog is all in favor of blasting a grannie, Mike Napoli-style . . .

 BEMLBlog does not condone any other type of grannie-blasting.