Archive for June, 2008

Week 13 Report: Cudas Go In For The Kill

June 30, 2008

Voila les standings pour Semaine 13:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

SeaWolves

68.5

25.0

0.0

2

Barracudas

67.0

-5.5

1.5

3

The Pack Is Back

64.0

35.5

4.5

4

Craydawgs

62.0

3.0

6.5

5

Bears

47.5

-17.0

21.0

6

AMH

42.0

-23.5

26.5

7

aCeS r WiLd

38.5

-1.0

30.0

8

Dirty Dogs

37.0

-12.5

31.5

9

Darkness

23.5

-4.0

45.0

And the overall standings at the 1/2 way point:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Barracudas

76.5

4.0

0.0

2

Bears

64.0

-0.5

12.5

3

Craydawgs

62.5

3.5

14.0

4

AMH

61.0

-4.5

15.5

5

Dirty Dogs

47.5

-2.0

29.0

6

SeaWolves

46.5

3.0

30.0

7

aCeS r WiLd

37.0

-2.5

39.5

8

The Pack Is Back

30.0

1.5

46.5

9

Darkness

25.0

-2.5

51.5

BEML Team Of The Week(TM): Los Pescados Viciosos.

BEML Batter Of The Week(TM): Dustin Pedroia, Dirty Dogs.

BEML Pitcher Of The Week (TM): John Lackey, Dirty Dogs.

‘Koski’s Kudas bested the rest of you in Week 13, much as they have throughout the first half of this 16th BEML season. The Coods picked up four points and now stand 12.5 points ahead of the 2nd best Bears. The Fish were middling on offense this week and may have lost the fearsome Dan Uggla for a bit with a sprained ankle, but went off the charts on the mound, hurling a league-leading 1.89 ERA, 75 Ks and 7 Wins. A.J. Burnett racked up 2 wins (5) over 15 innings with 18 Ks and a 0.60 ERA. C.C. spun 8 innings of shutout ball with 11 Ks, and Greinke pitched in 10 Ks over 6 innings.

 Cuda rocks a ’94 retro Cudas shirt and invites you to join him in the owner’s luxury box at the Fishtank. Your seat awaits.

 Uggla sports this season’s hot accessory, the Barracudas(R) Fanny Pack.

We haven’t heard much from the SeaWolves since their hot start led to an extended cooling period, but the Wolves decided to kick it into gear in Week 13, picking up three points overall and just a point out of 5th place. The Wolves tomahawked 16 HRs with 45 Runs and 43 RBI to lead the BEML in those categories. Robinson Cano helped get the ball rolling with 2 HRs, 7 BI and a .455 average, and David Wright jacked 3 thongsongs with 8 BI and a .429 average. He’s quietly up to .285/16/54/8 and definitely means bidness.

 Talkin’ ’bout David Wright…

 Not “urban blight”…

 or “Dyn-o-mite.”

The Craydawgs picked up 3.5 points with a sweet dose of pitching in Week 13, including a 2.65 ERA, 62 Ks, and a BEML-best 0.91 WHIP. Justin “The Duch” Duchscherer is a revelation this year. He spun another gem this week over 8 innings (1.12 ERA/0.38 WHIP) and now has a 1.76 ERA/0.83 WHIP over 56.3 innings for the Dawgs, all at league-minimum salary (see the forthcoming post on the BEML All-Bargain squad). Jonathan Sanchez has also come on strong for the Dawgs (again, at league-minimum cost) as he worked 14.7 innings for 2 wins with 14 Ks and a 1.23 ERA/ 0.82 WHIP. Another bargain, Kevin Slowey, pitched a complete game 3-hit shutout in his first start for the Dawgs this week (replacing the vastly talented but underperforming Javier Vazquez).

 Maybe the Craydawg should focus less on his fledgling gangsta rap career and more on leading the Dawgs to a 7th title. 

The Pack Is Back continue to dig themselves out of their hole, picking up another 1.5 points this week, and leading the league in BA (.291) while posting a solid pitching numbers (2.80 ERA/0.95 WHIP). Cliff Lee continues to excel for the Pack (8 IP, 11 Ks, 1.12 ERA/0.62 WHIP).

Antonio Miguel dropped another 4.5 points in Week 13 and is now 15 points back in 4th place after posting league-worst figures in BA (.267) and HRs (5). Time to trade some of that speed (league-leading 13 steals) for some power.

 Poppa Joe is struggling to remain in the limelight.

The Bears dropped a half-point in Week 13, which doesn’t help when you’re trying to catch a fast fish like the Cuda. The Bears led the league in Saves (8) but struggled a bit on the bases (league-low 36 Runs) and won just one game. And now Mags Ordonez has gone down, just as Albert Pujols has come back off the DL. The Bears have to hope things break right for them in the 2nd half.

The Dirty Dogs dropped a deuce in Week 13 but remain in 5th, just ahead of the SeaWolves. This year’s HR leader posted just 6 of ’em this week, to go with an awful 4.83 ERA and league-worst 1.52 WHIP. On the positive tip, the DDs carry home the coveted Week 13 BEML Players Of The Week in Dustin Pedroia (15-for-27, .556, 2/5/2) and John Lackey (16.2 IP, 2 Ws, 15 Ks, 0.54/0.78), which is almost better than gaining ground in the standings, right?

The aCeS and Darkness dropped 2.5 points each. Darkness rocked nil steals, and a league-worst 31 BI and 26 Ks. The aCeS’ Ryan Dempster finally got what has been coming his way, namely an ERA correction (30.86 this week). The Joba Experiment appears to be working for Darkness (6.7 IP, 7 Ks, 0 ER, W). 

AMH lives by the Volquez, Dies by the Volquez

June 28, 2008

Anthony Michael Hall‘s rookie phenom Edinson Volquez got rocked on Thursday night, coughing up 7 runs (5 earned) and 9 baserunners in 4.3 innings.

Perhaps following the career trajectory of their namesake actor, AMH started off hot this year and has cooled off significantly in recent weeks a la AMH’s precipitous fall in the late ’80s. They now find themselves in 4th (60.5 points), 13 points out.

Week 12 Report: Dawgee Style

June 23, 2008

How y’alls did in Week 12:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Craydawgs

72.0

18.0

0.0

2

Dirty Dogs

70.5

25.5

1.5

3

Bears

68.0

2.0

4.0

4

Barracudas

54.0

-20.5

18.0

5

AMH

50.5

-15.5

21.5

6

The Pack Is Back

41.0

14.0

31.0

7

SeaWolves

38.5

-7.5

33.5

8

Darkness

31.0

-1.0

41.0

9

aCeS r WiLd

24.5

-15.0

47.5

How’s it lookin’, year-to-date style?

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Barracudas

72.5

-2.0

0.0

2

AMH

65.5

-0.5

7.0

3

Bears

64.5

-1.5

8.0

4

Craydawgs

59.0

5.0

13.5

5

Dirty Dogs

49.0

4.0

23.5

6

SeaWolves

44.0

-2.0

28.5

7

aCeS r WiLd

39.5

0.0

33.0

8

The Pack Is Back

28.5

1.5

44.0

9

Darkness

27.5

-4.5

45.0

Los Dawgees were not too shabby in Week 12 and picked up 5 points. The Dawgs’ owner was perhaps a little too giddy about it all, one thing led to another, and, well…maybe there was some drinking and a lil’ driving involved in Craydawg-ville:

The Dawg got a little carried away after his team’s solid showing in Week 12.

Don’t blame the guy. The Dawgs placed in the top three for 8 of 10 categories this week. Jermaine Dye busted straight loose with 5 HRs (16), 13 RBI (42) and a .417 BA (.297). Elsewhere in Dawgville, Justin Duchscherer took care of business with a 1.15 ERA/0.83 WHIP over 15.7 innings for two wins. The Duch is now at 1.86/0.91 over 48 innings for the Dawgs, with 5 wins. That’s Dawgee Style(R).

Things were also hopping for those other Dogs…the Dirty Ones.

 “Manusama Ice” will rock the Shelter this weekend. “Word to ya mutha.”

The Dirty Dogs rocked the triple-crown this week with a league-leading .304 average, 19 HRs, and 50 BI. Prince Fielder got straight-up crunk with 5 HRs and 8 BI. He’s at .292/16/42. (Them’s Jermaine Dye numbers! — Ed.)

The Bears have come on strong of late, picking up two points this week to get within 8 of the 1st place Cudas. They led the BEML in Week 12 in terms of strikeouts (57), saves (8), and steals (10). This on a staff featuring Vicente Padilla and Jon Garland. What hath God wrought?

You know the Cudas are holding down the fort, Farmingdale-style. They dropped a couple digits this week, but the 2008 title is still theirs to lose. The Vish Fish headed up the WHIP category in Week 12 (1.11), thanks to Greinke (0.43), Hamels (1.07), and C.C. (0.86). Always savvy, the Cudas picked up Salomon Torres off the waiver wire and he filled in ably for J.J. Putz, racking up four saves.

 Talkin’ ’bout Salomon…

 Not “Solomon.”

 Grady Sizemore lays out during the Fishtank’s Annual Fanny Pack Nite.

AMH dropped a half point this week but still gained ground on the Cudas and now stand just seven points away.

Poppa sports the “Burt Reynolds’ Butt” t-shirt given away at Breakfast Club field this past Wednesday. The headphones were not part of the giveaway.

AMH bested you all in ERA (3.00) in Week 12, thanks in no small part to Jon Lester (1.26 ERA in 14.3 innings) and Edinson Volquez (2.57 ERA in 7 innings) –and no thanks to Jake Peavy (6.75 ERA) or Johan Santana (6.00 ERA). Brian McCann continues to produce from the catcher position, with two more HRs this week (14). Suffice it to say the Dawgs wish they had McCann instead of the highly paid V-Mart (0 HRs, DL).

 Talkin’ ’bout Jon Lester…

 Not Uncle Fester.

Did you know? Don’t Have A Heart Attack But The Pack Is Back Is No Longer In Back, Jack. Yes, by a single point, The Pack is out of the cellar. How’d they do it? Well Beltran (.333/3/5/2) and Guerrero (.440/3/7/0) didn’t hurt. And free agent pickups Joe Saunders (2.57 ERA this week) and Cliff Lee (1.23 ERA this week) looked good as well. Good enough to get Diaz’ boys into 8th.

The SeaWolves dropped another couple of points and are now in 6th, after a promising start. Just a paltry 6 HRs and 32 BI this week, and Dice-K gave up seven runs in one inning, so it ain’t nuthin’ nice.

The lights went out for the Darkness in Week 12 as they dropped 4.5 points and plunged into the basement. They posted league-worst numbers in HRs (5), Runs (35), RBI (28) and Steals (0!). Not to be outdone, the aCeS went out this week and posted league-worsts in BA (.247), Ks (29) and WHIP (1.65). The BEMLBlog hopes Week 13 is kinder and gentler to the Wolves, Darkness, and the aCeS.

A-Rod, Drew Draw Bears To Within Three Points Of Lead

June 17, 2008

Since the BEMLBlog’s last report, the Bears have climbed 10.5 points and are now just three points behind the vaunted Barracudas.

A-Rod (.438/5/16) and free agent signee J.D. Drew (.348/4/7 in just 23 at-bats) have sparked the Bears. Jason Giambi (.325/4/10) has pitched in as well. At the moment, the Bears lead the league in HRs, ERA, WHIP and Saves; a far cry from their last place finish of ’07.

 Weiss’ Bears are climbing to the top of the standings. 

Week 9 Report: Do The (Dirty) Doggie Bounce

June 5, 2008

The play in Week 9 sayeth thusly mes amis:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Craydawgs

58.5

8.0

0.0

1

aCeS r WiLd

58.5

11.5

0.0

3

Dirty Dogs

58.0

21.0

0.5

4

Barracudas

52.5

-17.5

6.0

5

Darkness

49.5

13.0

9.0

6

Bears

49.0

-11.5

9.5

7

AMH

46.0

-22.5

12.5

8

SeaWolves

40.5

-15.5

18.0

9

The Pack is Back

37.5

13.5

21.0

And the Overall Standings:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Barracudas

73.0

3.0

0.0

2

AMH

63.0

-5.5

10.0

3

Bears

58.0

-2.5

15.0

4

Craydawgs

49.5

-1.0

23.5

5

SeaWolves

49.5

-6.5

23.5

6

Dirty Dogs

46.0

9.0

27.0

7

aCeS r WiLd

44.5

-2.5

28.5

8

Darkness

39.0

2.5

34.0

9

The Pack Is Back

27.5

3.5

45.5

BEML Team Of The Week(TM): Dirty Dogs. It’s hard to ignore a nine-point jump, so give the mutts some props. That, and they activated Jay Bruce, so it’s been a good week for the Double Ds.

Do the “Doggie Bounce”:

The dirty, filthy, scabrous dogs worked a BEML-best 2.17 ERA in Week 9, with a 2nd-best 1.09 WHIP and a league-leading 58 Runs. The DD player of the week was Scott Kazmir, who just lived up to the filthiness of his team’s moniker with a 0.64 ERA/ 0.64 WHIP over 14 innings, with 16 Ks and 2 Wins. Nice. The Dogs also were buoyed by the activation of phenom Jay Bruce, who went 2-for-3 with a homer and 2 BI in his Dogs’ debut.

 I believe I specifically said “Dogs got Jay Bruce.”

 Not “gotta cut footloose.”

Who else made some noize in Week 9? All I know is the Cudas now have a 10-point lead on y’alls after picking up three this week. That’s no joke, amigos. Cudas tied for the weekly lead in HRs (17) and lead the league overall in several categories: HRs, Runs, RBI, and Strikeouts. And let’s be frank about this: where would the Cudas be without Chase Utley, who cranked 5 more this week with 14 RBI, 2 Steals, and a .391 average? Yowza. Utley is now at .312/20/50/6 for the season. Also, did you get a load of A.J. Burnett this week? 18 Ks over 13.7 innings with a 2.63 ERA/1.10 WHIP. Brotha can pitch.

The weekly stats say my Dawgs were lookin’ good this week, but the overall standings say we lost a point. Los Dawgees tied the Cudas for the weekly lead in HRs (17) and also led in strikeouts (61). BEMLBlog can’t say enough about Josh Hamilton, who pounded 3 more dingers in Week 9 with 10 RBI. The former crack addict is now addicted to the crack of the bat; he’s up to .328/15/63/2 now. The addition of free agent Ryan Church will hopefully help the Dawgs; he got off to a nice start in his Dawgee debut, going 3-for-4 with a HR and 2 BI.

In honor of Obama’s victory this week, the Dawgs gave away this Hillary Clinton dawgie chew toy.

Like the Dawgs, the aCeS had a good week stats-wise, but still lost 2.5 points overall. The aCeS swiped a league-leading 15 bags this week including 8 from Jacoby Ellsbury (27), and posted a respectable .288 BA and 3.00 ERA. Ben Sheets pitched like a champ, with a 1.84 ERA/1.02 WHIP over 14.7 innings with 11 Ks and a W (6). He’s at 2.71/1.05 on the year. You know whose time may have passed? Jeter. He went .160 this week and is .271/3/26/4 for the year.

 Talkin’ ’bout Jacoby…

 Not Kenobi. Your bad.

The Pack Is Back But Still Lack Cuz They Have The Knack For Being Way At The Bottom Of The Stack picked up 3.5 points but still remain 11.5 points behind the 8th place Darkness. I wish I had better news for y’alls, but it was an ugly 6.27/1.54 pitching line for Diaz’ fellas this week.  Ted Lilly, Brad Penny, and Joe Blanton just did harm (12.00, 11.25, and 9.00 ERAs, respectively). A-Gone was a monster, though, with 2 HRs, 7 BI, and a .364 BA in Week 9. Hideki hit .384 this week and is hitting .330 for The Pack over 194 ABs.

Mike G’s Darkness squad picked up 2.5 points in Week 9 but remains in 8th, 5.5 points out of 7th. The Dark Ones led the BEML with 58 RBI and picked up 2 points in that category alone. Big Tex mashed 3 HRs and 13 BI with a .333 average. He’s now at .271/8/40 after a slow start. The Ones Of No Light also led the BEML in WHIP (1.08) and Saves (6) this week. Kerry Wood had 4 (11). Adam Wainwright had another solid outing: 8 IP, 8 Ks, 1 ER, 0.50 WHIP, W. He’s at 2.86/1.06 on the season with 5 wins.

 Police suspect the Darkness mascot is behind a rash of unfortunate incidents in the Lights Out Field parking lot

The Bears dropped 2.5 points in Week 9 but are solidly ensconced in 3rd now, 15 points behind the 1st place Coods. Weiss’ furry critters tied with Darkness for the weekly Saves lead (6). It’s nice to have Pujols around: 3 HRs (14) and a .526 BA this week (.363). Roy Halladay (2.93/0.99) and Shawn Marcum (2.63/0.94) have provided a nice 1-2 for the Bears.

SeaWolves plummeted 6.5 points in Week 9. It was painful to knock just 5 HRs and 26 BI. As the Cuda might say: “Tragic.” The Wolves now trail the league in HRs on the season. Buehrle (7.36 ERA in 11 IP) and Harang (6 ER in 4 IP) were racked. Not the best week for the Wolves, though they still remain tied for 4th.

Anthony Michael Hall dropped 5.5 points and fell 10 points out of 1st. AMH posted a beauty 2.53 ERA but was hurt by a league-low 24 RBI. They dropped 3.5 points in RBI and fell to last in that category. AMH has been anxious to add a hitter and hopes to tap the trade market for help. Jason Kendall rocked a 2-for-19 debacle and is hitting .256/0/16/2 over 172 ABs. Chipper hit .320 this week but collected zero HR/RBI. On the plus (pitching) side, Bedard was back to his old ways with 7 shutout innings. Edinson Volquez has a 1.65 ERA in 32.7 IP with 41 Ks, and that’s nice.

 AMH need to crunch the numbers to figure out how far behind the Coods they are.