Archive for July, 2008

Week 17 Report: Craydawgs Break On Through

July 30, 2008

The results for the week:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

The Pack Is Back

72.5

46.0

0.0

2

Dirty Dogs

62.5

1.0

10.0

3

AMH

56.0

2.0

16.5

4

Craydawgs

54.5

-11.5

18.0

5

Bears

54.5

-5.0

18.0

6

Barracudas

46.0

-23.0

26.5

7

SeaWolves

45.5

-2.0

27.0

8

aCeS r WiLd

33.0

-7.0

39.5

9

Darkness

25.5

-0.5

47.0

And the Overall Standings:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Craydawgs

68.0

2.0

0.0

2

Barracudas

64.0

-5.0

4.0

3

Bears

63.0

3.5

5.0

4

Dirty Dogs

62.0

0.5

6.0

5

AMH

56.0

2.0

12.0

6

SeaWolves

46.0

-1.5

22.0

7

aCeS r WiLd

36.5

-3.5

31.5

8

The Pack Is Back

28.5

2.0

39.5

9

Darkness

26.0

0.0

42.0

BEML Team Of The Week(TM): The Craydawgs, who broke the Barracudas’ stranglehold on first place this week.

BEML Batter Of The Week(TM): Ryan Braun (Craydawgs)–4 HRs, 9 BI, .448.

BEML Pitcher Of The Week(TM): Randy Johnson (Craydawgs/Pack Is Back)–14 IP, 2 Ws, 0.00 ERA/0.86 WHIP. After working seven strong for the Pack, the Craydawgs acquired the Unit and enjoyed another seven strong later in the week.

BEML Drink Of The Decade(TM): Starbucks(R) Iced Venti Americano.

Yes, yes, y’alls. This is how BEMLBlog do.

Yes, BEML fans, the Craydawgs took a bite out of the Cudas in Week 17 and have wrested first place from them for now. The Dawgs led the league in RBI (63) and Wins (5), and picked up two points. The story here is Ryan Braun, who is playing like an MVP and racked up 4 HRs (28) and 9 BI (80) with a .448 BA (.303).

 The Dawgs “broke on through to the other side” in Week 17.

The Cudas fell to 2nd for the first time since Week 5 by dropping five points. The Fish hit a league-low .256 and managed just 9 HRs and 33 RBI. C.C. Sabathia continues to dominate BEML hitters (9 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks, 0.56 WHIP, W), however, and the Cudas earned an impressive 2.47 ERA for the week.

 Markoski will try anything toward fixing the Cudas’ flagging fortunes. Here, he heads to the mound to discuss how his juggernaut has landed in second for the first time in months, and what can be done about it.

The Bears picked up 3.5 points to move back into third place. They led the league in average (.317) but posted woeful ERA (6.49) and WHIP (1.48) for the week. The fur-boys welcomed back Fausto Carmona and Shaun Marcum for the stretch run, but each got racked (34.71 and 8.71 ERAs, respectively).

The Philthy Pups scored a league-leading 59 runs and racked up five wins and generally held steady (+0.5 points). J.J. Hardy put on a hittin’ clinic (13-for-29, .448) and is having a solid year (.298/14/47/2). Scott Kazmir nearly walked away with BEML Pitcher Of The Week honors in Week 17, posting a 1.50 ERA with 14 Ks in 12 innings. The Dirty Ones picked up Cliff Lee from the Pack recently, and he has fared very well for the Dogs with wins in his first two starts and a 2.12 ERA/1.00 WHIP.

Anthony Michael Hall has been extremely busy on the trading block, and still managed to pick up two points in Week 17. AMH boasts a bevy of low-priced talent for next year, including Jason Bay (.50), Jermaine Dye (.75), Josh Hamilton (1.25), Michael Young (.50), Brian Fuentes (.25), Justin Duchscherer (.25), Tim Lincecum (1.00), and George Sherrill (.50). AMH led the BEML in Ks in Week 17, with 75.

 The Craydawgs scouting arch rivals Anthony Michael Hall.

The SeaWolves seem to hibernate around this time of year, locking in their lineup and sequestering themselves away for the summer. Meanwhile, Conor Jackson had a beauty of a week for the Wolves, with 3 HRs, 7 BI, and a .542 average.

aCeS r WiLd have also gone aWoL, but even on autopilot managed a .306 BA and 2.27 ERA. Matt Holliday hit .500, and Matt Kemp hit .409 for the week. Sheets (7 IP, 2 ER) and Mussina (8 IP, 7 Ks, 0 ER, W) continue to have great years for the aCeS.

The Pack Is Back got their mojo working and picked up a couple points this week. T.P.I.B. led the BEML in HRs (18), ERA (2.17), Saves (7), Steals (7), and WHIP (1.05), and like AMH is investing heavily in 2009, picking up A.J. Burnett, Manny Parra, Johnny Cueto, and Jose Reyes in recent days in trades with the Craydawgs and Barracudas. Adrian Gonzalez rocked the hizzy with three Gonzos (25) and 9 BI (82), and Carlos Quentin continued his excellent stick-work with four Quentins (20) and 7 BI (57). After a lot of work with the T.P.I.B. pitching staff, Oliver Perez is coming back to life and pitched 7.7 innings with 12 Ks for a win this week.

Then there is the Darkness, which continues to flounder in last place. Hells, Giardina’s not even trying at this point, since Darkness is still rostering an injured Vernon Wells and Adam Wainwright. Ironically, without even trying, Darkness continues to post an enviable 3.56 ERA.

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Dawgs and Cudas Tied For BEML Lead

July 27, 2008

HIGHLAND PARK, NJ–Let the record reflect that as of 4:40 p.m. E.D.T., the Craydawgs have tied the Barracudas for the BEML Lead at 65.5 points. The Dawgs have picked up 3.5 points so far today to close the gap. The Dirty Dogs (63.5) and Bears (63.0) are also in close range.

Johan Santana hurled a complete game victory (1 ER, 7 H+BB, 5 Ks) and Jake Peavy pitched masterfully (7 IP, 10 Ks, 1 ER) for a win, as well. Ryan Braun cranked his 28th HR for the Dawgees.

 Talkin’ ’bout Craydawg Ryan Braun…

 …not Goldie Hawn.

Massive Blockbuster Mayhem

July 17, 2008

Anthony Michael Hall and the Craydawgs kicked open the doors of perception with a 14-player trade today. AMH sent Brian McCann, Chipper Jones, Derrek Lee, Hunter Pence, Travis Hafner and pitchers Johan Santana and Jake Peavy to the Dawgs for Josh Hamilton, Jermaine Dye, Ryan Garko, Richie Sexson, and pitchers Justin Duchscherer, Javier Vazquez, and Brian Fuentes. The Dawgs also sent three 2009 protected slots, and AMH kicked in five $3 moves, since the Dawgs seem to burn through those with abandon.

The Dawgs fill a huge hole at catcher with the acquisition of BEML All-Star McCann, prop up the batting average via McCann, Chipper and Lee, and take on two of the BEML’s top pitchers in Peavy and Santana. AMH has most likely bowed out of the running, but is building a nice, inexpensive platform to contend in ’09 with possible BEML MVP Hamilton ($1.25), Dye (.75), Duchscherer (.25), and Fuentes (.25).

 As gentlemen do, the owners of Anthony Michael Hall and the Craydawgs shake hands after conducting massive blockbuster mayhem.

Week 15 Report: BEML All-Star Break Edition

July 16, 2008

Here’s how things developed the week prior to the BEML ASB (All-Star Break):

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Dirty Dogs

79.5

24.0

0.0

2

Craydawgs

61.0

-3.5

18.5

3

AMH

55.0

-3.5

24.5

4

aCeS r WiLd

50.5

15.5

29.0

5

Barracudas

50.0

-21.5

29.5

6

SeaWolves

48.5

3.5

31.0

7

Bears

36.5

-26.0

43.0

8

Darkness

34.5

7.5

45.0

9

The Pack Is Back

34.5

4.0

45.0

And here are the Overall Standings at the ASB:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Barracudas

68.5

-3.0

0.0

2

Craydawgs

65.5

1.0

3.0

3

Bears

60.5

-2.0

8.0

4

Dirty Dogs

60.5

5.0

8.0

5

AMH

57.0

-1.5

11.5

6

SeaWolves

44.5

-0.5

24.0

7

aCeS r WiLd

39.0

4.0

29.5

8

The Pack Is Back

27.5

-3.0

41.0

9

Darkness

27.0

0.0

41.5

BEML Team Of The Week: Dirty Dogs

BEML Batter Of The Week: Ryan Howard, Dirty Dogs (.370/5/8)

BEML Pitcher Of The Week: Mike Pelfrey, Dirty Dogs (15 IP, 0 ER, 0.60 ERA, 10 Ks, 2 W)

The Cudas remain the team to beat in this beeyotch, but give the Dirty Dogs some credit for playing some crazy dope ball lately. This week, they picked up another five points and are poised just eight points back now after struggling near the bottom during the early part of the season. The DDs just crushed the ball in Week 15, leading in HRs (21), Runs (58), and RBI (68–BEML season high). They also pitched the hell out of it, and led the league in WHIP (1.05). Look out for the Dogs in the 2nd half.

 Pelfrey is a Dirty Dog…and also BEML Pitcher Of The Week(TM).

aCeS r WiLd picked up four points this week in part by hitting a BEML season high .358. The aCeS had an incredible three players hit .500 or better: Justin Morneau (.539), Manny Ramirez (.500), and Troy Glaus (.500).

 Manny indicates that he was “this close” to being a BEML All-Star this year.

The Craydawgs picked up four points on the Cudas this week and now stand just three out of first. The Dawgs ran wild with a BEML-leading 13 steals, including three each from Josh Hamilton (7), Brian Roberts (27) and Jimmy Rollins (24). Unfortunately for the Dawgees, they’re just not getting much out of the catcher position these days (Carlos Ruiz, .111/0/0/0/0). Chris Snyder is expected to return this week, followed by Victor Martinez in August. Weekly Duchscherer plug: he went 16.7 IP with a 1.08 ERA/0.54 WHIP in Week 15.

 The Duch is in contention for the 2008 Maddux Award.

The Cudas hit just .239 this week and fell three points overall, but set a new BEML season high with 79 Ks. The Ks were aided by four pitchers with two starts in Week 15: A.J. Burnett (15 Ks), Cole Hamels (16), Lincecum (13), and C.C. Sabathia (14). Ryan Ludwick led the offense this week, with 4 HRs (8) and 7 BI (26).

 Cuda Tim Lincecum was hospitalized for dehydration and “flu-like symptoms” over the BEML All-Star Break. BEMLBlog thinky too much drinky.

The Bears dropped two points heading into the break and are trying to fend off the Dirty Dogs for 3rd place. They hit just .249 with one steal, but did rack up a BEML-leading 10 saves in Week 15, including five from Kevin Gregg (17). I just noticed the Bears have registered 95 saves thus far, a pace not too far off the record set by the ’06 Snowmen (195).

Anthony Michael Hall dropped 1.5 points this week and fell to 5th place, despite a league-best 2.50 ERA in Week 15. Don’t blame Edinson, who went 7 IP with 1 ER and 10 Ks. He’s at 2.73/1.26 with 8 wins and 84 Ks over 82 innings for the AMH. The AMH medical staff is concerned about closer Tak Saito’s elbow and will be evaluating him over the break. Jenks, Percival, and Saito are all banged up to some degree.

 Behold…the AMH merchandise.

The SeaWolves held steady in 6th, and continue to be burdened by their mascot’s unsavory antics (see below). Carl Crawford posted a 1-for-26 (.039) line, dragging the Wolves’ average down to .236 this week. Fortunately, Brandon Webb appears to be getting back to form, as he went 13 innings with 12 Ks and a 1.38 ERA this week. He now has a BEML-best 13 wins on the year.

 C. Wolf makes his way with some kids to a strip club over the All-Star Break.

The Pack Is Back But Hold Back Because They’re Still Near The Back Of The Pack and Darkness are slugging it out at the bottom after The Pack dropped three points this week and Darkness held steady. The Pack hit a league-low .214 with 32 Runs, while Darkness scraped bottom with league-lows in HRs (5), RBIs (29) and Ks (26).

The 2008 BEML All-Bargain Squad

July 13, 2008

BEMLBlog presents the 2008 All-Bargain squad (stats through 7/12/08):

Pos

Player

Team

Sal.

BA

R

HR

RBI

SB

C

G. Soto

SeaWolves

.50

.272

27

13

41

0

C

B. Molina

Barracudas

.50

.290

29

6

56

0

1B

K. Youkilis

aCeS r WiLd

.25

.316

56

15

63

3

2B

I. Kinsler

Bears

.50

.333

83

14

55

23

3B

A. Beltre

Barracudas

.25

.259

45

16

46

7

SS

J.J. Hardy

Dirty Dogs

.25

.287

41

13

40

2

CI

J. Giambi

Bears

.25

.249

45

18

54

2

MI

M. Young

AMH

.50

.308

61

6

48

6

OF

P. Burrell

SeaWolves

.50

.275

48

22

54

0

OF

M. Bradley

Darkness

.25

.317

35

13

35

4

OF

X. Nady

Darkness

.25

.317

43

12

55

1

OF

J. Bay

AMH

.50

.293

49

13

40

4

OF

J. Dye

Craydawgs

.75

.299

53

20

53

3

DH

J. Hamilton

Craydawgs

1.25

.314

60

21

95

7

 

Pitcher

Team

Sal.

W

S

K

ERA

WHIP

M. Mussina

aCeS r WiLd

.25

11

0

68

3.61

1.23

S. Marcum

Bears

.50

5

0

86

2.65

1.00

J. Duchscherer

Craydawgs

.25

7

0

39

1.62

0.77

J. Shields

Craydawgs

.25

7

0

100

3.83

1.15

S. Kazmir

Dirty Dogs

.25

7

0

79

2.47

1.07

R. Harden

AMH

.75

4

0

89

1.76

1.10

K. Gregg

Bears

.25

4

17

28

2.60

1.33

B. Lyon

Dirty Dogs

.25

1

18

27

2.31

1.13

T. Percival

AMH

.25

1

17

24

3.33

0.95

 Seawolves are more than welcome at the Oehm Dome. Here, one barks his approval at Geovany Soto’s election to the BEML All-Bargain team. Pat Burrell also made the squad.

 BEML All-Bargain 2B Ian Kinsler attributes his speed to unique exercises developed by Bears ownership.

 Darkness has a couple of solid outfielders on the cheap…Xavier Nady and Milton Bradley.

Cudas Stumbling, Dawgs and Dogs Surging Into Break

July 11, 2008

At the moment, the Cudas’ lead is down to 2.5 points (69 to 66.5) over the Dawgs. What’s more, the Dirty Ones are coming on strong and are just 9 points back (60) in third place.

 The Dawgs admit…they’d love to catch the Cudas.

BEMLBlog Salutes the BEMNL (Big East Meadow Negro League)

July 9, 2008

BEMLBlog hates to admit it, but the sad truth is that back in the day there was segregation that affected even fantasy baseball. To wit, we had the BEMNL (Big East Meadow Negro League). BEMLBlog salutes the black fantasy leaguers that helped lay the early foundations of our great game.

 The Black Craydawgs were a powerhouse in the BEMNL.

The Black Barracudas were the pride of Farmingdale.

Week 14 Report: BEML All-Stars Announced

July 7, 2008

Y’alls. I want to tell you how it got done, Week 14-style:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Bears

64.5

0.5

0.0

2

SeaWolves

60.5

14.0

4.0

3

Craydawgs

58.5

-4.0

6.0

4

Dirty Dogs

51.0

3.5

13.5

5

The Pack Is Back

49.0

19.0

15.5

6

Barracudas

46.0

-30.5

18.5

7

AMH

44.5

-16.5

20.0

8

aCeS r WiLd

40.0

3.0

24.5

9

Darkness

36.0

11.0

28.5

Now it’s time to flip the script. How’s it doing, Overall Standings-wise?:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Barracudas

71.5

-5.0

0.0

2

Craydawgs

64.5

2.0

7.0

3

Bears

62.5

-1.5

9.0

4

AMH

58.5

-2.5

13.0

5

Dirty Dogs

55.5

8.0

16.0

6

SeaWolves

45.0

-1.5

26.5

7

aCeS r WiLd

35.0

-2.0

36.5

8

The Pack Is Bac=

30.5

0.5

41.0

9

Darkness

27.0

2.0

44.5

BEML Player Of The Week: J.J. Hardy (Dirty Dogs).

Movin’ on up, it’s the Dawgs, who took it to the hole and are now seven points back, jack, in second place. Raise that roof, would you please? Thank you. Dawgs led the league in Steals (11), Ks (58), and Wins (6) in Week 14. James Shields will miss being a BEML All-Star this year, but he looked good in Week 14, with a 2.70 ERA/0.82 WHIP, 13 Ks and two wins (7). The Duch whipped seven strong innings for a win this week; he’s at 1.85/0.85 with six wins in 63.3 innings for the Dawgs.

The 2008 Dawgee All-Stars: Josh Hamilton, Jermaine Dye, Ryan Braun, and Dan Haren (see the complete list of BEML All-Stars below).

 The Craydawgs’ Owner/Manager gives a tip of the cap to the Dawgee faithful, who applaud the Dawgs’ rise in the standings to 2nd place this week.

 I just came across this photo from the 1923 season in the BEML archives depicting BEML and Craydawgs founder Phineas L. Bolinger.

Did you know? Dem Dirty Dogs picked up 8 more points this week and are sniffin’ around AMH’s leg now, looking hungrily at 4th place. The Filthy Pooches hit a sweet .346 this week and also led the BEML in HRs (18) and RBI (60). J.J. Hardy hit an incredible .600 with 6 dongs and 12 BI this week.

Rocking the BEML All-Star game for the Dirty Dogs: Carlos Lee and K-Rod.

The Cudas gave the rest of the BEML a fleeting sense of hope by dropping five points and posting a league-worst ERA (5.37) in Week 14. A.J. Burnett got ripped for 12 hits and 6 runs in 7 innings and has a 5.54 ERA/1.61 WHIP for Los Pescados over 79.7 innings.

The Barracudas All-Stars: Lance Berkman, Chase Utley, Grady Sizemore, and fireballers Tim Lincecum and Cole Hamels.

Yes, my friends. It’s the rarest of the BEML fantasy baseball cards, the 1908 Honus Markoski as he appeared for the Llamas.

The Bears did not let up much in Week 14, but did drop 1.5 points and fell to 3rd place, 9 points out of first. A-Rod is getting divorced and working the Madonna angle, but still had time to blast three homers (18) and hit .333 (.323) in Week 14 with three steals (13). A-Rod just missed making the BEML All-Star squad this year, but will enjoy watching his teammates Ian Kinsler, Albert Pujols, Roy Halladay, and Mariano Rivera in the summertime classic.

Anthony Michael Hall‘s Achilles’ Heel remains the offense; they managed just 10 points in the offensive categories in Week 14, including league-lows in HRs (5) and RBI (34). AMH dropped 2.5 points and are 13 points back. The wheels have come off the Volquez express a bit, as he posted a 4.76 ERA and 1.59 WHIP with just 6 Ks in 11.3 innings this week. Jon Lester tried to make up the slack with a complete game shutout with 8 Ks.

AMH sends Brian McCann and Chipper Jones to the BEML All-Star game.

 It’s Babe Pravato!

The SeaWolves led the league in Runs (58) and Saves (8) this week, but it was not enough to keep them from dropping 1.5 points. H-Ram is heating up again, as he went .394/3/8/1 in Week 14. His All-Star counterpart on the mound, B-Webb, is limping to the All-Star break, posting a 7.50 ERA this week. Other Wolves to make the All-Star scene this year: Russ Martin and Joaquim Soria.

The aCeS struggled on the pitching end this week and dropped 2 points. Andy Pettitte emphatically withdrew himself from All-Star consideration with a 9.64 ERA/2.57 WHIP. Matt Holliday made himself very useful, however, with 3 HRs, 10 BI, and a .429 average in Week 14. He’s at .343/13/49/11 for the season.

Ben Sheets will rep the aCeS in the All-Star game.

The Pack Is Back On Track notched a league-low .249 average and 41 Runs in Week 14 with just 6 HRs, but excelled on the mound with a league-best 2.26 ERA/1.16 WHIP. New additions Cliff Lee (3.00 ERA this week in 15 innings), Joe Saunders (2.84 ERA), and Andy Sonnanstine (7 IP, 0 ER) have bolstered the staff.

The Pack will send masher Adrian Gonzalez to the All-Star game.

Woe is Darkness, which picked up two points this week but remain in last place and regretfully must decline all invitations to the All-Star game. On a positive note, the Darklings hit .326. Mark DeRosa hit 3 HRs (8) with 10 BI (41) and a .321 average (.292) in Week 14. X-man Nady hit .381 (.321) with 2 HRs (12). It looks like Rafael Furcal is done for the season after undergoing back surgery. Woe.

The 2008 BEML All-Stars:

Pos

Player

Team

BA

R

HR

RBI

SB

C

B. McCann

AMH

.298

37

15

48

1

C

R. Martin

SeaWolves

.306

47

9

42

8

1B

L. Berkman

Barracudas

.350

74

22

69

12

2B

C. Utley

Barracudas

.296

65

24

67

8

3B

C. Jones

AMH

.385

51

17

48

2

SS

H. Ramirez

SeaWolves

.302

75

21

43

21

CI

A. Gonzalez

The Pack

.284

52

22

70

0

MI

I. Kinsler

Bears

.328

77

14

53

23

OF

J. Hamilton

Craydawgs

.307

54

19

83

4

OF

J. Dye

Craydawgs

.308

51

19

52

3

OF

C. Lee

Dirty Dogs

.293

42

19

66

4

OF

G. Sizemore

Barracudas

.266

56

22

50

20

OF

R. Braun

Craydawgs

.279

46

20

58

8

DH

A. Pujols

Bears

.351

45

18

48

3

 

Pitcher

Team

W

S

K

ERA

WHIP

T. Lincecum

Barracudas

10

0

122

2.49

1.25

B. Sheets

aCeS r WiLd

10

0

97

2.77

1.11

R. Halladay

Bears

10

0

113

2.88

1.04

D. Haren

Craydawgs

8

0

103

2.83

0.98

B. Webb

SeaWolves

12

0

100

3.58

1.17

C. Hamels

Barracudas

9

0

110

3.22

1.02

J. Soria

SeaWolves

0

23

41

1.22

0.73

M. Rivera

Bears

2

23

44

1.17

0.65

F. Rodriguez

Dirty Dogs

0

34

35

1.93

1.15

BEML Weekly Bests & Worsts

July 3, 2008

HRs—Best

21

Dirty Dogs (Week 7)

RBIs—Best

60

Barracudas (11)

Steals—Best

16

Craydawgs (10)

Runs—Best

62

The Pack Is Back (8)

BA—Best

.347

Anthony Michael Hall (8)

Wins—Best

7

Craydawgs (2)

Barracudas (13)

Saves—Best

12

Dirty Dogs (3)

Strikeouts—Best

75

Barracudas (13)

ERA—Best

1.86

Anthony Michael Hall (1)

WHIP—Best

0.91

Craydawgs (13)

HRs—Worst

4

Anthony Michael Hall (6)

Anthony Michael Hall (11)

RBIs–Worst

22

Anthony Michael Hall (11)

Steals—Worst

0

Darkness (12)

Darkness (13)

Runs—Worst

23

Darkness (11)

BA—Worst

.202

Darkness (2)

Wins—Worst

1

Numerous teams

Saves—Worst

0

Numerous teams

Strikeouts—Worst

21

Dirty Dogs (5)

ERA—Worst

7.23

Dirty Dogs (2)

WHIP—Worst

1.96

Dirty Dogs (2)