Archive for August, 2008

Darkness’ Belliard: “It Ain’t Easy Bein’ Sleazy”

August 23, 2008

 Just look at my man, Darkness’ Ronnie Belliard. Dude is just sleazy looking: 

 “Hey ladies.”

Week 20 Report: Dawgs Extend Lead

August 20, 2008

 So the Dawgs went on a roll in Week 20: 

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Craydawgs

67.5

-2.0

0.0

2

Barracudas

51.0

-16.0

16.5

3

aCeS r WiLd

51.0

12.5

16.5

4

The Pack Is Back

49.0

15.5

18.5

5

AMH

49.0

-4.5

18.5

6

Bears

49.0

-11.0

18.5

7

Dirty Dogs

45.0

-16.0

22.5

8

Darkness

45.0

20.0

22.5

9

SeaWolves

43.5

1.5

24.0

…and finished the week with a 9.5 point lead in the Overall Standings:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Craydawgs

73.5

4.0

0.0

2

Barracudas

64.0

-3.0

9.5

3

Dirty Dogs

61.5

0.5

12.0

4

Bears

57.5

-2.5

16.0

5

AMH

55.0

1.5

18.5

6

aCeS r WiLd

41.0

2.5

32.5

7

SeaWolves

40.5

-1.5

33.0

8

The Pack Is Back

31.0

-2.5

42.5

9

Darkness

26.0

1.0

47.5

The Dawgs picked up four points this week by passing the Cudas in Runs (with a league-leading 57) and Steals, and also gained points in Wins (with a BEML-best seven this week) and WHIP. Nick Markakis has quietly been putting up some sweet numbaz for the Diggitys, including a .419 spot this week with nine RBIs; he’s at .305/87/17/76/10 on the year. Catcher Chris Snyder has been solid filling in for Victor Martinez and had two more homers (11) this week with 7 RBIs and a .294 average. Not all is well in Dawg-ville, though, as Torii Hunter and Vlad Guerrero went a combined 3-for-40 this week, and Ryan Braun sat out several games with some sort of rib injury (according to Craydawgs medical staff). Note that the Dawgs had a five-point lead over Team Phil Chu (AMH) at this point last season and ended up losing by eight points, so this thing is far from over.

 Craydawgs medical staff tends to Ryan Braun’s rib injury.

The Cudas lost three points despite heroics from Lance Berkman (3 HRs, 10 BI) and Ryan Ludwick (2 HRs, 9 BI). Josh Beckett struggled to a 7.84 ERA in two Week 20 starts. The Cudas will need him to contribute in a big way if they are to contend in the stretch run. The Cudas led the league in Saves (5) this week, and they are hoping to gain ground in that category.

 Berkman (in ’94 retro uni) is having a fine year for the Cudas.

The Dirty Dogs are 12 points out and are hoping that the return of Francisco Liriano (7 IP, 0 ER, 5 Ks, W) can give them an edge in the final six weeks.

The BEML’s other contenders, the Bears, dropped 2.5 points in Week 20 and lost their MVP-to-date Ian Kinsler to injury. Fausto Carmona is killing the Bears, as he dropped a 9.95 ERA on them this week. The Bears made a trade-deadline deal with Anthony Michael Hall to acquire Edinson Volquez in return for Jon Garland. Volquez made good with 7 scoreless innings and a win in Week 20.

The fifth-place Anthony Michael Hall squad put up an incredible 1.84 ERA over 58.7 innings in Week 20, including 16 innings of 1-run ball from Javier Vazquez. Vazquez has posted a 3.56 ERA/1.12 WHIP for AMH in 43 innings since his acquisition from the Craydawgs.

Don’t look now, but aCeS r WiLd has jumped into 6th place, ahead of the SeaWolves. Kevin Youkilis improved upon his great year for the aCeS (.320/78/20/84/3) by hitting .409 with 3 HRs and 8 BI in Week 20.

Brad Hawpe had a nice week for the SeaWolves, hitting .417 with 3 HRs and 7 BI.

 Talkin’ ’bout Brad Hawpe . . .

 . . . not Hale-Bopp.

The Pack Is Back led the BEML in homers this week (14), including three each from Aubrey Huff (7) and Brandon Phillips (15). Huff has been on fire for TPIB since getting into the starting lineup (.371/7/23 in 97 ABs).

Darkness actually posted a 0.00 ERA this week over 16.3 innings, including five scoreless from John Maine for a win.

Week 19 Report: Crays Clinging To Slim Lead Over Fish

August 14, 2008

This is how it went down in Week 19:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Craydawgs

64.0

-3.5

0.0

2

The Pack Is Back

58.5

29.0

5.5

3

Bears

58.0

-2.5

6.0

4

Barracudas

57.0

-10.0

7.0

5

aCeS r WiLd

54.5

17.0

9.5

6

Dirty Dogs

50.0

-12.0

14.0

7

Darkness

38.5

11.5

25.5

8

SeaWolves

35.0

-8.0

29.0

9

AMH

34.5

-21.5

29.5

And the Overall Standings:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Craydawgs

69.5

2.0

0.0

2

Barracudas

67.0

0.0

2.5

3

Dirty Dogs

61.0

-1.0

8.5

4

Bears

60.0

-0.5

9.5

5

AMH

53.5

-2.5

16.0

6

SeaWolves

42.0

-1.0

27.5

7

aCeS r WiLd

38.5

1.0

31.0

8

The Pack Is Back

33.5

4.0

36.0

9

Darkness

25.0

-2.0

44.5

BEML Batter Of The Week(TM): Carlos Lee, Dirty Dogs (.550/3/11).

BEML Pitcher Of The Week(TM): C.C. Sabathia, Barracudas (CG, W, 9 Ks).

The Craydawgs picked up two points in BA by virtue of a .353 average in Week 19. The Dawgs excelled with 17 HRs and a BEML-best 68 Runs and 68 RBI. New Dawgs Miggy Cabrera (3 HR, 7 BI) and Vladdy G (.480/3/9) led the way for the the Mutts, who also had 13 players hit over .300, and four over .400. The Craydawgs might have made even more headway this week, but aces Jake Peavy (4.50 ERA) and Dan Haren (7.94 ERA) faltered a bit.

 U.S. Olympians Kerri Walsh and Misty May catch Craydawgs Fever(TM).

The Barracudas held steady in second place. The Fish led the league in ERA (2.52), Saves (4), WHIP (0.98) and Steals (9). C.C. Sabathia continues to dominate (CG shutout, 9 Ks) and has a 3.32 ERA, 11 Wins and 156 Ks over 165 innings.

The Dirty Dogs dropped a point and are 8.5 off the lead. These Hounds lost a point in RBI to the Crays, and a point each in ERA and Steals to The Pack, but made up two in Wins by leading the BEML in that category this week. The DDs once again led the BEML in HRs (18) in Week 19, led by three each from Carlos Lee (28) and Curtis Granderson (15). The Dirties have a huge lead in HRs (+27).

The Bears treaded water, dropping 0.5 points. It’s hard to argue with Albert Pujols’ performance (.455/3/8) and Raul Ibanez’ efforts (.355/3/12) in Week 19, but the Bears are dead in the water with Vicente Padilla putting up 10 innings of 9.00 ERA ball week after week. Padilla now has a 7.09 ERA in 46 innings for the Bears.

 Bears treaded water in Week 19.

Anthony Michael Hall continues to fall back (-2.5 points) after deciding to look toward 2009. AMH posted some bad numbers in Week 19, including a league-worst .241average and a 5.72 ERA. The rest of the BEML is catching up to phenom Edinson Volquez, who gave up 5 runs and 10 baserunners in 5 innings this week (9.00 ERA).

 AMH shows off the case in which he keeps the 2007 BEML Trophy. I’m pretty sure the other cases contain awards for acting.

The SeaWolves put up a league-worst 4 HRs and 30 RBI in Week 19, dropping a point overall. Only David Wright did anything offensively, with 2 HRs and 6 BI. He’s at .291/22/90/14 for the season. Aaron Harang has been a huge disappointment for the Wolves this year; in Week 19 he coughed up 8 runs in 4 innings (18.00 ERA). Harang has just 3 wins this year for the Wolves, and has a nasty 5.17 ERA and 1.43 WHIP over 127 innings.

Manny Ramirez had a nice week for the aCeS, going .375/2/6. He’s at .313/24/79 on the season. Mike Mussina is having a rebirth for the aCeS this year, with 15 wins and a 3.27 ERA after pitching 7 shutout innings for a win in Week 19.

The Pack Is Back, a traditionally second half team, moved up four points in Week 19. Carlos Quentin continues to rip shiz up, with a .391 average (.283) and 4 HRs (25) this week. Ollie Perez appears to be back on track with The Pack Is Back after going 7 scoreless innings for a win (6).

 Talkin’ ’bout a “smash by Carlos Quentin”…

 Not “Johnny Cash at San Quentin.”

Darkness dropped 2 points and featured an astounding four pitchers with zero innings pitched in Week 19, with a total of just 15.7 innings. Joba Chamberlain, Tim Hudson, Todd Jones, John Maine, and Adam Wainwright were all injured in Week 19.

Craydawgs Blast Six Out, Open Up Six-Point Lead

August 10, 2008

HIGHLAND PARK, NJ–Led by two Miguel Cabrera HRs, the BEML-leading Craydawgs racked up six Dawg-bones and opened up a six-point lead over the Barracudas yesterday. The Dawgs picked up HRs from Cabrera (22, 23), Nick Markakis (17), Vladdy Guerrero (21), Brian McCann (21), and Edgar Renteria (6). The Dawgs tacked on 17 RBI and picked up points in Homers, Batting Average, and Runs. Cabrera is hitting .349/6/21 in just 66 at-bats for the Dawgs.

In other BEML news, the 4th place Dirty Dogs were dealt a huge blow when Carlos Lee broke his finger. He may miss the rest of the season. Lee’s loss puts a huge hole in the Dogs’ lineup and their chances for the title.

 Miggy rocked his 5th and 6th yard jobs for the Dawgs.

Woof! Dirty Doggies Blast Eight Homers

August 6, 2008

The Dirty Dogs went off on you yesterday, straight crankin’ 8 dongs and picking up 1.5 points. They are now just four points off the lead.

The Dogs picked up ding things from Fielder (26), Granderson (13), Carlos Lee (26), Evan Longoria (5), Jhonny Peralta (17), Soriano (18), and–inexplicably–two from Placido Polanco (6). The Dogs also drove in 20 runs. They lead the BEML in both HRs and RBI.

 …not to be confused with Eva Longoria.

Week 18 Report: Dawgs, Cudas Are Neck-and-Neck

August 5, 2008

 In Week 18, it was thus:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Dirty Dogs

63.0

1.0

0.0

2

Barracudas

62.5

-1.5

0.5

3

AMH

59.0

3.0

4.0

4

Craydawgs

58.5

-9.5

4.5

5

aCeS r WiLd

50.5

14.0

12.5

6

SeaWolves

46.5

0.5

16.5

7

Bears

41.5

-21.5

21.5

8

The Pack Is Back

41.0

12.5

22.0

9

Darkness

27.5

1.5

35.5

And yea, verily, the aforesaid weekly results begat the Overall Standings, to wit:

Rank

Team

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Craydawgs

67.5

-0.5

0.0

2

Barracudas

67.0

3.0

0.5

3

Dirty Dogs

62.0

0.0

5.5

4

Bears

60.5

-2.5

7.0

5

AMH

56.0

0.0

11.5

6

SeaWolves

43.0

-3.0

24.5

7

aCeS r WiLd

37.5

1.0

30.0

8

The Pack Is Back

29.5

1.0

38.0

9

Darkness

27.0

1.0

40.5

BEML Batter Of The Week(TM): Xavier Nady, providing a ray of light in the Darkness, with a .526/3/10 week.

BEML Pitcher Of The Week(TM): Ervin Santana, SeaWolves (8 IP, 8 Ks, 0 ER, W).

BEML Mexican Joint Of The Week(TM): Los Primos Mexican Food, San Diego, California.

Order the carne asada burrito, a quesadilla, and a Horchata(R). Tell ’em BEMLBlog sent you, amigos.

BEML TV Show Of The Week(TM) (when BEMLBlog isn’t tracking every at-bat by the Dawgs on MLB Extra Innings(R)): Mad Men. Don Draper is an honorary member of the Dawg Pound(TM).

 Draper enjoys a smoke at the Dawg Pound prior to pitching Craydawgs ownership on a new ad campaign to coincide with their championship run.

Enough preamble. It’s neck-and-neck BEML fans. Dawgs and Cudas. Dirty Dogs and Bears close behind. The Cudas made the most noise this week, taking back 3.5 points of the 4 point lead they gave up last week to the Dawgs. The Cudas led the league in Ks (64) and Steals (11). Ryan Ludwick rocked 4 Ludwicks with 8 BI and a .539 BA. Ludwick has been one of the better free agent pickups this year, posting a .291/14/39/2 line over just 213 at bats for the Cudas.

 Ludwick has proved a profitable addition for the Cudas in ’08. Do you think the Dawgees are kicking themselves for picking up the concussed and inactive Ryan Church ahead of Ludwick?

The Craydawgs excelled on the ERA/WHIP front in Week 18, to the tune of a BEML-leading 2.39 ERA/ 0.97 WHIP. Dare say, how’d the Dawgs do this deed? With a little help from Unit Johnson, who worked 6 masterful innings with no runs and 6 Ks for his second win in as many starts for the Dawgs. Johnson now has 13 scoreless innings out of the gate for his new team. Vlad Guerrero notched his first homer for the Dawgs, Torii Hunter was an icy hot stunta with three more HRs and 8 BIs in Week 18, matched by Miggy Cabrera’s 3 HRs and 8 BI. The Dawgs are hoping for the healthy return of Brian McCann and the Chipper in Week 19.

 Long time Craydawgs OF Torii Hunter greets new teammate Guerrero after Vlad cranks a homer at the Dawg Pound. (Gotta love the Dawgs’ powder blues–Ed.)

The third place Dirty Filthy Hounds hit the hell out of it in Week 18 with a league-best .311 average and 18 HRs. However, the Dogs could not gain any ground due to a BEML-worst 4.80 ERA. Cliff Lee got roughed up for 6 runs in 5 IP, and Justin Verlander was also pounded for 6 runs in 5.7 innings. Carlos Z tried to make up for the damage with 13 innings of 1 run ball (0.69 ERA). On the offensive side, Prince Fielder blasted 5 dongs and hit .400, while Carlos Lee pounded 2 HRs with 7 BI and has quietly compiled a huge season thus far: .303/25/89/4. The streaky J.J. Hardy was tardy to the party with a 1-for-24 (.042) showing this week.

The Bears dropped 2.5 points in Week 18 but remain in close range of the lead, 7 points back. A-Rod cranked 3 HRs with 5 BI and is now .325/25/67/15 on the year.

AMH held steady in 5th place. Bobby Abreu was untouchable in trade talks earlier this year, and showed why with a .444/4/9 performance in Week 18. The AMH outfield is looking strong for 2009 with Abreu, Bay, Hamilton, and Dye, all with cheap contracts.

The SeaWolves dropped three points by virtue of some anemic offense in Week 18, including a league-worst 5 HRs and .248 average. The Wolves had several players post sub-Mendoza averages this week, including Cano, Hanley Ramirez, Rolen, Weeks, and Wright.

aCeS r WiLd put up a league-best 55 RBI in Week 18, despite missing two players (Rick Ankiel, Luis Castillo) from their lineup. Justin Morneau (11 BI), Manny Ramirez (.417/3/8) and Matt Holliday (.385/4/6) gave the aCeS stellar production this week.

 aCeS regular Manny Ramirez ponders whether the aCeS would give up so many runs if all their players (e.g., Ankiel, Castillo) were actually in the field.

The Pack Is Back have cashed in their chips for ’08 and are playing for ’09. Nevertheless, the Pack got nice work from Aubrey Huff, with 2 HRs, 9 BI, and a .500 BA. Huff has gone 20-for-42 (.476) with 3 HRs and 12 BI since taking over for the traded Miggy Cabrera (Craydawgs).

 Talkin’ ’bout Aubrey Huff…

 …not H.R. Pufnstuf.

Darkness’ X-Man Nady was hot in Week 18, with 3 HRs, 10 BI and a .526 average. He’s hitting an incredible .334/16/67 for the season and is certifiably BEML All-Bargain…and this week’s BEML Batter Of The Week(TM).