Archive for July, 2009

BEML All-Star Report

July 14, 2009

Can I get a whut-whut?

The BEML takes its annual break this week to celebrate its All-Stars. Meanwhile, here’s how the standings look (with the teams’ respective ’09 All-Stars):

  1. Craydawgs 81.0 (Sandoval, H-Ram, Kemp)
  2. Bears 77.0 (Pujols, Halladay, Nathan)
  3. The Franchise 70.0 (Utley, Bartlett, Ichiro, Lincecum)
  4. Dirty Dogs 65.5 (Fielder, King Felix, E. Jackson, Vazquez)
  5. Snowmen 59.5 (Crawford, Hunter, Jeter)
  6. SeaWolves 54.0 (Ellsbury)
  7. Barracudas 45.5 (Wright, Haren, Greinke)
  8. The Pack Is Back 42.0
  9. Flying Z 29.5 (Mauer)
  10. Ballbags 26.0 (Josh Johnson)

Let’s run down the 2009 BEML All-Stars, shall we?:


You’ve got to go with Joltin’ Joe Mauer (Flying Z) (.373/49 Runs/15 HR/49 RBI/1 SB) and Pablo Sandoval of the Craydawgs (.333/41/15/55/4).

First Base

At 1B, perennial BEML All-Star Albert Pujols (Bears) has already had a fine full season’s worth of stats with a blowout line of .332/73/32/87/10.

Second Base

At 2B, Chase Utley (The Franchise) edges out the Bears’ Ian Kinsler for the honor. Utley sports a .313/62/20/61/9 line.

Hot Corner

The hot corner for the ’09 All-Stars is manned by the Barracudas’ David Wright (.324/56/5/44/20) who edges out another Bear, Mark Reynolds.


The Craydawgs’ Hanley Ramirez stands out at Shortstop; he’s at .349/53/14/61/13 on the season and in range for a possible run at 30/30 and a batting title.


Gotta give the Corner Infield slot to the Dirty Dogs’ Prince Fielder (.315/58/22/78/1).


Despite missing some time, The Franchise’s Jason Bartlett will enjoy his first BEML All-Star game this year (.347/45/8/39/19).

A_classic_Black_pair_of_Converse_All_Stars_resting_on_the_Black_&_White_Ed._Shoebox_(1998-2002) Talkin’ All-Stars…

normal_1978-Winston-Lights-Cigarette-I-want-low-tar-ad Who said anything about “low tars”?


The Snowmen boast two All-Stars in the BEML Outfield, Carl Crawford (.309/58/8/39/44) and Torii Hunter (.305/56/17/65/13), who join the SeaWolves’ Jacoby Ellsbury (.297/47/5/29/40), The Franchise’s Ichiro (.362/45/6/24/19), and the Craydawgs’ Matt Kemp (.320/48/11/50/19).


At DH is another speed merchant, Derek Jeter (Snowmen), who is having one of his best years in the BEML thus far: .321/56/10/37/17.


The Barracudas’ Dan Haren is the starting pitcher for the ’09 BEML All-Stars. He has racked up some impressive stats in the first half (9 Wins/129 Ks/2.01 ERA/0.81 WHIP), but the Cudas should beware his perennial second half fade. The Franchise’s Tim Lincecum also makes the cut (10 Ws/149 Ks/2.33/1.05), and the rotation is rounded out with the Barracudas’ Zack Greinke (10 W/129 K/2.12/1.08), three Dirty Dogs: King Felix (9 W/121 K/2.53/1.14), the surprising Edwin Jackson (7 W/97 K/2.52/1.06), and — BREAKING NEWS ALERT — Javier Vazquez (6 W/136 K/2.95/1.05), who was traded just today to the Craydawgs for Raul Ibanez and Tommy Hanson; and two Bears: Roy Halladay (10 W/106 K/2.85/1.10) and closer Joe Nathan (1 W/43 K/23 Saves/1.31/0.73); and the Ballbags’ Josh Johnson (8 W/109 K/2.74/1.12).


Dawgs’ Lead Down To One Point

July 4, 2009

As the BEML reaches the midway point of the season, the Craydawgs and the Bears continue to battle it out for first, with The Franchise and Dirty Dogs in a death match for third.

The Dawgs’ lead slipped to a measly point over the Bears yesterday (79.5 to 78.5) after Kevin Slowey was racked for 6 runs in 3 innings and then hit the DL. Slowey’s poor outings recently have cost the Dawgs a point in ERA to the SeaWolves. Pablo Sandoval continues to crush the ball; he hit his 12th homer and is hitting .329 for the year from the Catcher slot for the Dawgs. Pablo had a hot June: .394/8/20. Jonathan Broxton notched his 20th save yesterday.

pablo sandoval Talkin’ ’bout the Dawgs’ portly slugger Pablo Sandoval…

Pablo Neruda Not Chilean writer/politician Pablo Neruda.

Albert Pujols has been carrying the Bears and hit his fourth grand slam for the year yesterday. He’s at .336/31/82/10 on the year already and appears headed for yet another BEML MVP award.

The Franchise has surged recently and is less than 15 points out (65). The Chise led the BEML in June in several categories: BA (.294), Wins (20), Ks (241), ERA (2.51) and WHIP (0.94).

The Dirty Dogs are currently tied with The Chise for third. Jose Lopez seems to have come out of his early season funk. He hit his 11th HR yesterday and went .329/5/20/2 in June.

A-Rod hit his 13th HR for the Snowmen yesterday. The Igloo’s denizens may be losing their patience a bit with his .236 average. Snowmen had a power outage in June, finishing last in HRs (37).

a-rod kisses self A-Rod busts a move in the Snowmen’s locker room.

The SeaWolves picked up two wins yesterday from Danks (7 IP, 0 ER) and Kuroda (5.3 IP, 3 ER) after posting a league-worst nine wins in June. The Wolves are now tied for 6th place (50 points) with The Pack Is Back, which suffered a June swoon and now appears out of contention after such a promising start to the 2009 season. The Pack posted low marks in June for RBI (145), Steals (24) and BA (.246).

The Barracudas’ Shin-Soo Choo went off yesterday, going 4-for-5 with two HRs, 7 BI and a steal. Choo is .301/12/53/13 for the year.

Flying Z’s Aubrey Huff hit his 11th HR yesterday. He’s at .276/11/51/0 for the year. The Z had a rough June; they posted league lows in Saves (9), Ks (133), ERA (4.93) and WHIP (1.58).

The Ballbags’ Denard Span went 5-for-8 yesterday with two BI. He’s at .292/4/26/13 on the season.