Archive for August, 2011

Dawgs Scorching in August, Take Six Point Lead

August 25, 2011

HIGHLAND PARK–Entering today’s play, it is a four-team race to the finish:

The Craydawgs have turned up the heat in August, scorching their way to a six-point lead over the Fish. They have led the BEML this month in six categories, hitting .312 with a 2.65 ERA and 1.07 WHIP.The Dawgs have been helped by strong performances from Dan Uggla (.349/10/19 in August), Aramis Ramirez (.447/5/20), Ryan Braun (.361/4/14/10), Joey Votto (.375/7/16/1) and Troy Tulowitzki (.383/6/16/1), with pitching support from Tim Lincecum (1.23/0.95, 3 Wins, 37 Ks) and Zack Greinke (3.44/1.12, 4 Wins, 32 Ks).

The Craydawgs have turned up the heat in August. Get your fans out.

The Dawgs are always wary of the Barracudas, of course, who–as BEML fans will recall–wrested the title from them on the last day of the 2008 season. The Cudas have been hot this month as well, placing second or third in eight of the ten categories. A powerful catching tandem has helped keep them in strong contention; Alex Avila has hit .418 with six homers and 16 RBI, and Mike Napoli has gone .305/7/16/1.

The Snowmen are leading in every pitching category, but are held back by an anemic offense. The situation may be unraveling, as pitching studs Justin Verlander (4 Wins, 2.51 ERA) and Cliff Lee (4 Wins, 0.58 ERA) have been rumored to be pointing fingers at weak links such as Brennan Boesch (.208, 3 RBI) and Brian McCann (.139).

The George Kents have been hampered by poor production from new arrival Ricky Nolasco (22 baserunners in 9.7 IP, 13.97 ERA).

This will likely be the first BEML season to go to the wire since the aforementioned 2008 classic.

The BEML Trade Deadline: The Art of the Deal

August 17, 2011

The BEML trade deadline came and went on August 15. In an unprecedented flurry of wheeling, dealing, and–in some instances–stealing, the BEML is reeling: 33 players were dealt between seven of the eight franchises (exception: the Snowmen) in a 24-hour period. Mike Morse was dealt twice.

The Barracudas kicked off the frenzy by picking up MVP candidates Jose Bautista (.307/33/76/5) and Matt Kemp (.319/27/88/30) from Project Mayhem for Jaime Garcia, Adam Lind, and Pablo Sandoval. (Sorry Mayhem, but BEMLBlog calls this the steal of the season for the Fish.)

The Fish were dealing, baby.

The 1st place Craydawgs were in on trades with the Dirty, Mayhem, and tweezy that sent a staggering 16 players packing. The Dawgs shored up the staff by picking up David Price (10 Wins, 3.76 ERA, 1.13 WHIP, 158 Ks) from Project Mayhem for slugging shortstop J.J. Hardy. “Price’s contract was up and we had no intention of franchising him next year,” the Mayhem GM said.

The Dawgs then turned to their canine competition, Massapequa’s Dirty, Filthy Mutts. The Dirties set their sights on possible BEML MVP Curtis Granderson and offered up the store to get him at a great price for 2012 ($0.75), sending stars Robinson Cano, Ichiro, and Jonathan Papelbon. The Dawgs also waved goodbye to closer Brandon League and Michael Morse, the latter of whom was swiftly swiped up by the Cudas, along with closer Fernando Salas, in return for Michael Cuddyer and Adam Dunn.

Things were getting so heavy the George Kents had to get in on it with the Bears. And they got in on it but good. I mean things were heated. (No homo.) In a monster deal, the GKs picked up Albert Pujols, Ryan Howard, Justin Upton, Nelson Cruz, and pitchers Roy Oswalt, Ricky Nolasco, and Kevin Gregg, and sent Evan Longoria, Drew Stubbs, Ben Zobrist, Freddie Freeman, and pitchers Heath Bell, Tim Hudson, and Ian Kennedy to the Bears in return.

Half of the Bears roster poses before being shipped off to the George Kents. (Kyle Lohse missed the bus.)

Hell, you knew that wasn’t enough. In a relatively minor coda to the trading orgy–and in an effort to include Trader Joe in the mix–the Dawgs sent Mike Minor, Leo Nunez, and Matt Thornton to tweezy for Jake Peavy, J.J. Putz, and a couple of roster moves.

The only team that did not get involved was the Snowmen, who for the second year in a row have had the title in their sights but have stood pat and failed to make any significant trades to improve their chances.

The standings after 19 weeks:

Rank

Team Batting Pitching Total Dif Behind

1

Craydawgs

35

20

55

1.5

0

1

Snowmen

15

40

55

2

0

3

Barracudas

24

30

54

0

1

4

George Kents

22

30.5

52.5

0.5

2.5

5

Dirty Dogs

21

22.5

43.5

-0.5

11.5

6

Project Mayhem

27

14

41

-0.5

14

7

Bears

26

10

36

0

19

8

The 1 tweezy

10

13

23

-3

32

Week 18 Update: The Race in the Big East is a Beast

August 8, 2011

The pennant race is a beast in the Big East:

Rank

Team

Batting

Pitching

Total

Dif

Behind

1

Barracudas

24

30

54

-1.5

0

2

Craydawgs

35

18.5

53.5

4.5

0.5

3

Snowmen

13

40

53

4

1

4

George Kents

21

31

52

1.5

2

5

Dirty Dogs

20

24

44

-1

10

6

Project Mayhem

29

12.5

41.5

-4.5

12.5

7

Bears

25

11

36

-3

18

8

The 1 tweezy

13

13

26

0

28

The Cudas have held their Kung Fu grip on first since Week 13, but the Dawgs have surged in recent weeks (woof!), and the Snowmen and Kents aren’t leaving the dance anytime soon.

Project Mayhem appears to be down for the count at the moment, having lost 4.5 points in Week 18…

Give him some air… Project Mayhem seems to be down for the count…

Bonds Enshrined in Emotional Induction Ceremony

August 2, 2011

EAST MEADOW–The Big East Meadow League enshrined Barry Bonds today in a Hall of Fame induction ceremony that dripped with emotion.

A tearful Bonds offered an impassioned speech in front of the East Meadow Public Library.

BEML owners past and present were in attendance to honor Bonds’ many accomplishments during his BEML tenure, which ran from its inaugural 1993 season until 2007. Bonds embraced erstwhile Nor’Easters (BEML 1994-98) owner Phil Chu, and let loose the water works when reintroduced to Highlanders (BEML 1994) owner Steve Sekuler, who was unceremoniously kicked out of the League after failing to attend–or let anyone know that he would not attend–the 1995 BEML draft.

Pogues (BEML 1996-2006) owner Kevin Hosey introduced Bonds, and fellow Hall of Famers Greg Maddux and Randy Johnson regaled the crowd of hundreds with stories of their trepidation in facing the thick-necked slugger over the years.

After Bonds delivered a brief but intense speech–in which he included a moment of silence for “the fallen,” including Hideki Irabu, Rod Beck and Jose Lima–the BEML’s “original six” owners invited attendees into the basement of the Library to share cocktails and hors d’oeuvres and witness the unveiling of Bonds’ portrait.

“No one could carry a team like Barry,” said Love the Drake owner Andy Reader, whose team Bonds graced during the 1994-95 seasons. “Nobody.”

BEML fans were duly impressed with the rococo-framed Bonds portrait in the Hall of Fame.

Bonds Named to BEML Hall of Fame

August 1, 2011

EAST MEADOW–Barry Bonds has officially achieved his highest honor yet: BEML Hall of Famer. Bonds received the support of five owners and received only one “nay” vote from the George Kents, who–despite having owned Bonds during his record-setting 73 home run season in 2001–felt compelled to “object to [that] cheat.” Call the use of performance-enhancing drugs what you will, but the BEML has never called it “cheating,” just “winning.” Barry Bonds, you are a winner today.

The Bonds portrait, to be hung in the East Meadow Public Library BEML Hall of Fame wing at a ceremony tomorrow.