Archive for April, 2013

Week 3 Report: Get Into The Grove

April 22, 2013

MANHATTAN–The West Village has come alive in April as favorite sons the Grove St. Villagers continue to pile on the BEML, extending their lead by 2.5 points in Week 3, 57.5 to 51 over the Barracudas:

130422 week 3 standings

The Villagers painted the corners in Week 3 to the tune of a 1.78 ERA and 0.84 WHIP with a league-high 59 Ks. Grove St. had five starts this week and they were all quality, including King Felix’ 12 K gem.

villagers baseball field The Grove St. Villagers’ new home under Manhattan’s West Side Highway.

The Cudas hit .318 as Carlos Beltran went .375 with three homers. Ian Kinsler is off to a hot start, hitting .303/5/12/2 thus far… the Dirty Dogs are suddenly in third place after leading the league in both wins and saves this week; Jacoby Ellsbury may be back as he is at .293/1/9/8 in the early going…

The Kents have Kooled, dropping 4.5 points this week into 4th place after struggling to a .249 BA with seven homers in Week 3, but Mike Minor is flying under the radar as a steal with two wins, a 0.94 ERA and 16 Ks in 19 IP… the Snowmen are sitting middle of the pack and have somehow amassed just five wins in three weeks, though CarGo has been on a roll early on (.364/4/12/4)…The Craydawgs led the league with 19 HRs, 52 Runs and 56 BI but struggled on the mound with a league-worst 4.50 ERA; Carlos Gomez (“The Other CarGo”) got on track by hitting .500/2/3/1 in Week 3…

Cause Mickey Loves Ya gained 5.5 points this week via some stellar pitching from Roy Halladay, R.A. Dickey and Clay Buchholz. CMLY also jettisoned slugger Paul Konerko, Victor Martinez and closer Huston Street to Arsenal for Dexter Fowler, Stephen Drew and pitcher Alex Cobb, trading some surplus power and a closer to Big Poppa for a taste of speed… Arsenal led the BEML in steals this week (9), including four from Jean Segura (.367/1/3/4 on the season)…

burgess-meredith-memoirs-195x300 In a touching epilogue to his memoirs, Burgess Meredith achieves the greatest honor of them all… homage by fantasy baseball moniker.


Week 2 Report: It Takes a Village

April 15, 2013

MANHATTAN–The BEML is always a wild affair and Week 2 of BEML XXI was no exception. Injuries struck several squads as the Snowmen–having lost Jered Weaver last week–said farewell to ace Zack Greinke, the Fish lost preeminent speed source Jose Reyes for several months, and the George Kents’ Yoenis Cespedes took a powder alongside the Craydawgs’ Erick Aybar in the BEML training room.

massage parlor The BEML’s communal training room is filling up fast.

In addition, the Dirty Dogs swapped out pitchers Brett Anderson and Clay Buchholz together with injured slugger Jayson Werth for CMLY’s starter Jeremy Hellickson, outfielder Dayan Viciedo, and second baseman Chase Utley. The move bolsters Mickey’s pitching staff and plugs a hole in the Dogs’ lineup at second (sayonara Marco Scutaro).

On the week, the Grove St. Villagers shocked the world by leading the league in BA (.318) and Runs (55) and sliding into the overall lead, 3.5 points over last week’s leader the George Kents. The standings through two weeks:

130415 week 2 standings

Robinson Cano led the Villagers in Week 2, hitting .500 (11-for-22) with three HRs and 8 BI. Austin Jackson was not far behind, hitting .393 with 10 runs, a homer and 5 BI. Hiroki Kuroda ripped off two wins and helped the Village People to the league’s lowest ERA (2.70) thus far.

Mansfield Village+People+png Mansfield’s Village People are getting it done.

The Kents lost five points on the week but it was through no fault of Prince Fielder, who hit .632 this week and is .429/4/19 in the early going. The Kents showed Jason Heyward the quick hook after a 2-for-28 start on the year; his replacement Josh Reddick went 0-for-9.

The Fish were devastated by the Jose Reyes injury this week; not what the scaly boys were looking for coming off an injury-riddled 2012. On the bright side, C.C. Sabathia appeared to be back to his 2008 Maddux Award-winning ways, spinning eight innings with nine Ks for the win this week.

The Dirties blew it up this week, picking up 12 points in this joint despite hitting only .233 with six homers. Eleven saves and a 2.30 ERA help. Adam Wainwright was the money with a complete game shutout with 12 Ks.

At the back end of the standings… Snowmen picked up 5 points with a 1.95 ERA/0.95 WHIP and led the league in steals (10) but the injuries to front-line starters Weaver and Greinke will not help the Frost repeat in 2013… the Craydawgs had the big drop (5 points) in Week 2 as they only put up four homers and lost speedster Erick Aybar to injury… CMLY launched a league leading 12 homers as Justin Upton continues to rake (.375/2/4/2 this week)… Catcher John Buck is up to .317/6/19 already for Arsenal

Week 1 Review — Kent-tagious!

April 8, 2013

WESTBURY — It was solid all-around play in Week 1 for the George Kents, who hit just .259 on the week but tallied homers from 10 players and led the BEML in HRs (16), Runs (54) and RBI (55) to go with plenty of speed (12 steals). Troy Tulowitzki led the way by hitting .421 with 2 HRs and 7 BI on the week.

george kent building The fabulous new George Kents headquarters in Westbury, L.I.

The Kents are up on the upstart Villagers by three points. The Grove St. crew hit .303 with a sub-3.00 ERA in their first week–not a bad start. Adam Jones hit the hell out of the ball (14-for-26) and it says here he’s not done yet.

simpsons angry villagers The Villagers are developing a rabid fan base.

The Craydawgs like what they see out of backstop Carlos Santana so far: 12-for-24 with two homers, together with an excellent rapport with the Dawgs’ pitching staff, which put together 60 Ks in just 56 innings.

The pitching-rich Barracudas dominated with a league-leading 86 Ks, 9 wins, a 2.47 ERA and 1.01 WHIP. Yu Darvish (2 wins, 20 Ks in 13.7 IP) and Clayton Kershaw (2 wins, 16 Ks in 16 IP, 0 ERA) should keep the Fish in the mix in 2013.

The Snowmen are a little slow out of the gate with injuries already to Freddie Freeman and Jered Weaver, to go along with horrific starts from ace Cole Hamels (10.97 ERA) and closer John Axford (20.25 ERA). The Freeze are hoping Jeff Samardzija (22 Ks in 13.7 IP, 2.63 ERA) and Zack Greinke (0 ERA) will continue to pick up the slack.

Cause Mickey Loves Ya‘s Justin Upton leads the league with five HRs, but R.A. Dickey (8.44 ERA) and Roy Halladay (13.50 ERA) are off to tough starts… the Dirty Dogs flipped the script on the old “high average with speed” scenario, turning in a low average (.239) with speed (13 steals)… Arsenal is going to give every opportunity to Dexter Fowler to stay in the game this year, and he rewarded Big Poppa with .370 and four HRs…

Arsenal’s Back

April 7, 2013

HICKSVILLE — By unanimous vote of the BEML membership this week, the BEML welcomed back Big Poppa’s Arsenal squad. The Poppa offered to pick from the leftovers at half the league entry fee.

Citing a love of the game, Pork Chop went after the BEML XXI draft scraps, picking up a murderer’s row in Dexter Fowler, Matt Joyce, Vernon Wells, Adam Lind, and the like. On the hill, previously undrafted BEML stalwart Ryan Dempster will continue his BEML run in Arsenal blue-and-white as the staff “ace.” We won’t get into the bench players; it’s not pretty. But Pork Chop is back in town, he’s looking to deal, and that’s a thing of beauty.

SAMSUNG DIGITAL CAMERA Who let the dogs/dawgs out? The owners of the Barracudas, Dirty Dogs, and Craydawgs herald the return of Arsenal’s owner (2nd from left).

Opening Day: Five Homers from CMLY

April 2, 2013

On the 21st opening day for the BEML, the upstarts from Cause Mickey Loves Ya cranked out five homers–including two from youngster Bryce Harper–to go with 11 RBI. Meanwhile, defending champs Snowmen fanned 32 on the day, including nine from Jeff Samardzija, while the Villagers tallied three quality starts from James Shields, Felix Hernandez, and Stephen Strasburg–along with two wins and 20 Ks.

Citizens of the BEML, it’s on.

rockypunchingmeat¬†Mickey’s unusual training regimen appears to have paid off on Opening Day.